Food for the Heart
by SharkbaitSekki
Summary: Enter Oikawa Tooru, the middle-class citizen who has everything he needs, but who does not eat. Enter Iwaizumi Hajime, the homeless young man who barely scrapes enough to eat every single day. Maybe putting them together is the first step in changing those routines of theirs. Iwaoi, oneshot. Warning for eating disorder.


**Bizarre IwaOi AU to relieve my boredom, go. Warning for eating disorder.**

* * *

"Tooru, sweetie! Did you have breakfast yet?"

Oikawa had not. In fact, he had not had breakfast in the past 3 weeks.

"I'm having it on the go," the brunet answered instead, consciously avoiding the kitchen on his way to the front door.

"You should wake up a little earlier so you can sit down and have a proper breakfast," his mother sighed out, poking her head over the staircase to see him by the entrance.

"I'd rather fix my hair in the morning, mom," Oikawa joked weakly, just wanting to leave. He pulled his shoes on quickly.

"Fixing your hair won't help you grow," she huffed, going down the stairs to meet him. "Oh, where's your breakfast?" she frowned, looking at his empty hands. "Do you want me to fix you a sandwich real quick?"

And Oikawa wanted to say no. He wanted to tell her that it was okay and that he had his breakfast in his backpack, but there was something about his mother that made him feel like any white lie would not go by unnoticed.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded hesitantly. "I was... I was gonna get it after wearing my shoes."

"Give me a second, then. I'll make you some peanut butter and jelly," she decided, rushing towards the kitchen. "Did you pack a lunch as well?"

"Yes I did, mom." He had not.

"What are you having?"

"Last night's leftovers."

"Oh, good," his mother chimed brightly. "You went to bed early and skipped dinner, so at least you'll get to taste the new chicken dish I tried out last night!"

"I'm sure it's wonderful," Oikawa assured her, getting a bit antsy. Soon enough, his mother came back from the kitchen with a sandwich wrapped in towel papers.

"Here," she handed it to him, and he took it as if it would bite him. "Have a nice day at college, sweetheart," she kissed his forehead, and for a moment, Oikawa's eyes teared up. For a moment, he considered telling her everything. He considered showing her the records he kept of his weight. He considered handing over the scale he'd use once, or sometimes twice a day to make sure he hadn't gained any extra pounds.

But a moment later, he had pulled away, all thoughts of honesty buried deep in the recesses of his mind.

"Thanks mom. See you tonight," he wished, and he left the house as quickly as he could. His grip on the sandwich tightened until his fingers had left marks in the soft bread.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

The problem with the bus stop on the corner of his street was that it did not have a garbage bin to service it. Thus, every single time Oikawa made a show of leaving with his breakfast in his hands, he had to wait until he reached the subway station to throw it away. Usually, he managed to sneak out of the house without his mother seeing him off, so he didn't have to, but when he did, he always felt like it was a waste.

He sure as hell wouldn't be eating it, though.

This was his routine. Every day, he would wake up early to look in the mirror, weigh himself, fix his appearance up, and hang around the first floor, opening and closing random cupboards to make it sound like he was fixing himself something. Then, with his heart beating fast, he would leave the house with a hurried goodbye. He'd wait for the bus on the corner, listening to his music, and take it to the subway station. He'd walk down the long corridor that led him to the tracks, and the first garbage bin would be to his left before he took the stairs down to the oncoming train. He'd take the subway to college, go on with his day, and in the evening, walk back halfway to his place before taking the subway for the next half, just so he could waste time before having to go back. He'd weigh himself upon coming back, evaluate how well a lie about skipping dinner would sit with his mother and older sister, and go from there accordingly to try and eat as little as possible at dinnertime.

It was his routine, and Oikawa Tooru liked it just the way it was. And it never came to mind that perhaps there would one day be a reason for him to change his routine.

All went well until the point where he began walking down the long corridor to the subway tracks. His music was loud in his ears, and he couldn't hear the crowd around him. However, when his glance swept the corridor, mostly by boredom, he spotted a figure sitting against one of the walls, and did not recognize the person. Oikawa, despite having gone to the same college for 3 years, had never seen this particular homeless person in the corridor of his subway station.

(It felt weird to think like that, but Oikawa liked his routine, and did not like that something so tiny threw it off).

As he got closer, he began to discern some details about the homeless person. First of all, and most shockingly, he was young. So, so young. Maybe even Oikawa's age, if he looked past the dark circles under his eyes. Second of all, he did not look hopeless. That was a shock, as most beggars tended to look miserable, or defeated. But the young man sitting in the corridor with an empty coffee cup in front of him did not look defeated. He had his legs drawn up to his chest and had his arms in his lap, but it was probably to ward off the chill of early autumn rather than to hold himself together. His dark green eyes were hard and his lips were set in a thin frown, but he looked more resolute than anything else. As if he had steeled himself for this moment and was not letting his current circumstance weigh him down.

He was dressed in very basic clothing; a thick hoodie, a striped scarf, some jeans ripped at the bottom, and some very dirty sneakers. A backpack that looked surprisingly light rested on his side. His short, dark hair was tousled in a way that obviously meant that he hadn't taken care of it, but Oikawa felt like it just added to his rugged charm.

He made these observations as he came closer, and once he was close enough, could finally read the small piece of cardboard resting on his drawn-up shins with a message squiggled neatly in black marker: "Change for food. Thank you for your kindness."

Oikawa held back from snickering as he passed in front of him, finding the young man's modesty endearing. He felt bad, however, because resolute or not, the young man was still out on the streets, begging for change in the subway so he could survive. The sobering reality wiped the dawning smirk clean off of Oikawa's face, and his heartstrings tugged a bit.

He had everything, and he refused to eat, whilst the young man by the wall could only wish he were in Oikawa's shoes. It wasn't fair. The sandwich in his hands felt heavier than usual.

He'd walked a few metres past the homeless man before he found himself turning around, apologizing to people who bumped into his at the sudden change in direction. For a second, he wondered what he was trying to accomplish, but as his feet led him back to the young beggar, he figured that it would make no sense to waste a perfectly good sandwich when someone else could be using it.

"Hi, sorry," he called as he came closer, his heart skipping a beat when the young man lifted his stormy green eyes to look at him. "I just... I mean, I just wanted to give you this," he stuttered a bit, handing him the sandwich, which was a bit soggy from the jelly at this point, on top of having Oikawa's finger marks on it. "If you want. Sorry, I don't mean for you to take this badly, I know it's kind of pathetic-"

"It's fine," the young man cut him off, hesitating for a second before reaching to take the sandwich, and Oikawa reveled in the fact that his voice was deep, if not a bit scratchy from disuse. "Thank you for your kindness."

"No problem! My pleasure!" Oikawa stuttered a bit awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as if not knowing what to do anymore. "Umm... Have a nice day!"

"Likewise," the young man nodded to him, and turned to inspect the sandwich curiously.

Oikawa took the opportunity to rush off, feeling like a hundred eyes were set upon him, including the beggar's. His heart was beating fast, probably because he'd done something so impulsively, and he second-guessed his actions for a second.

He wished a hobo a 'nice day'. Did hobos even have 'nice days'?

He thought of the young man all day, and could not help it. At lunchtime, he went to the library to read a bit, and tried to concentrate past the several other students crunching up tender bar wrappers and popping open Tupperware lids. And for some reason, when he looked out of the window, down at the empty streets of downtown, he could not help but wonder if the young man with the impossibly green eyes had scrounged up enough money to buy himself lunch.

He hoped so.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

The young man was not in the corridor when Oikawa took the subway train home. He tried not to think too much about it, and kept going, figuring that it was a one-time thing, and that the boy would not show up anymore. He went home with his stomach (and weirdly enough, his heart) feeling empty.

His mother and sister were already home, of course, and the smell of freshly cooked food wafted up to Oikawa's nose as soon as he closed the door. It didn't quite make him sick, but it made dread and anxiety curl in his stomach at the thought of dinner. His mind quickly ran through the list of excuses he had to skip dinner. He wasn't quite at midterms yet, so he couldn't say he had to study, and he'd used the 'too tired for dinner' excuse yesterday. That left him with one last option.

"I'm home," he called out as he went to the kitchen to greet his mother.

"Tooru, right on time," she greeted him cheerfully. "Set the table, sweetie, dinner's almost ready."

"Oh, I won't be having dinner with you tonight, mom," Oikawa grinned apologetically, beginning to set the table nonetheless. "Makki brought a ton of snacks to our last class and made Mattsun and I share them, and I am so stuffed right now, I don't think I could eat another bite."

"Are you sure?" his mother looked disappointed. "Snacks won't fill you up, though..."

"I'll reheat something later if I get hungry," he promised, mentally apologizing to her for lying.

"Alright," she nodded to him, and Oikawa turned to leave.

"What's that?" another voice suddenly jumped in, and Oikawa's older sister popped her head into the doorway of the kitchen, glaring at him. "You're not having dinner with us? Again?"

"Sorry, Aya," he apologized, sticking his tongue out at her and winking. "Makki made me eat a ton of snacks and I'm gonna be sick if I eat any more."

"Then at least just sit with us while we eat," she insisted, busying herself by making some tea.

"I'd rather go study."

"Pffft, studying's gonna do you no good, Tooru," she crossed her arms. "Your head's empty no matter what you do!"

"Mean!" he huffed at her, not actually taking it to heart. His relationship with Oikawa Ayame, his older sibling by two years, was one of trust and mutual teasing, and he wouldn't change that for the world.

"Just sit with us, Tooru," his mother insisted as well, and Oikawa began feeling a bit uneasy. "Maybe you'll have a bite when we start eating."

And somehow, roped in by guilt and fear of them getting suspicious, Oikawa ended up sitting with them at the dinner table, listening to them talk about their days.

At some point, Aya dropped her disliked vegetables on his plate, and looked at him expectantly. And Tooru had no choice, under his family's pressuring eyes, to put the food in his mouth, chew, and actually swallow.

His stomach hurt after the first bite, but he pushed himself to eat a second bite. A part of him still wanted to eat, still wanted to gain the pounds he'd shed over the weeks, still wanted to disregard how fat and ugly he felt, and that part of him drove him to eat the few bites Aya put on his plate.

But when she slid a few more pieces onto his plate, still looking at him intently, he stood up and went to clear his plate in the trash can. He could feel her eyes on his back, and wondered if, by any chance, Aya could see right through him, and had known of what he was doing to himself ever since he began.

He made small talk with them to play his role, telling them about his day, his classes, and Matsukawa's and Hanamaki's antics, as usual. It felt rehearsed, but it was his routine. And Oikawa did not like breaking his routine.

He did not tell them about the young man in the subway.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa sneaked out of the house early the next morning, making sure that he got all ready before saying goodbye to his mother, so that she could not intercept him again. His feet carried him up the familiar slope to the bus stop on the corner, and he fell back into his old routine.

Except that the young man from yesterday was back in his old spot, still dressed the same, closed up on himself and rasping his thanks at the occasional kind soul that dropped change into the coffee cup in front of him. And suddenly, a cold sweat broke out on the back of Oikawa's neck, because his hands were empty, and yet he felt like he owed the young man something.

This was now the second time that the young man was disrupting his routine, and Oikawa wasn't sure what to do about it.

So he did the only logical thing.

He made him a part of his routine.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

The next morning, he made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before leaving, and heart beating fast, he made his way to the bus stop. His hands were shaking by the time he got off at the subway station, and he rushed down to the familiar corridor. The part of him that was anxious, insisting that he was being stupid, immediately shut up when Oikawa saw that the young man had returned to his spot. He would have felt stupid if he'd made himself a sandwich just to throw it away.

He planned his approach as he got closer. This time, would he introduce himself, or remain the faceless stranger with the PB&J sandwiches? Would the guy even remember him? Oikawa was the last of his worries for sure. Did he even like PB&J? What if he hadn't been eating them? What if he was allergic to peanuts?

Too busy worrying, Oikawa didn't actually formulate a plan of approach and as he got near him, figured he'd just be his good old natural self.

"Good morning," he greeted as he approached, breaking away from the throng of people commuting to work or school so early in the morning.

"Hi," the young man frowned at him, as if not understanding his upbeat attitude. Oikawa's grin faltered.

"I just... I just wanted to give you this!" Oikawa was back to stuttering, all of his self-confidence melting away as he handed the guy his sandwich in a Ziploc bag. "It's peanut butter and jelly, y'know. Good protein for breakfast."

"Ah, uhh..." the guy, too, seemed a bit awkward with all his rambling. "Thanks, I guess."

"No problem," Oikawa flashed him a smile. However, before he could leave, the guy's eyes narrowed a bit at him.

"Have you..." he seemed to be looking for his words, gripping the bag tightly in his hands as if afraid he'd lose it. "... No, nevermind. Thank you for this."

"Take care," Oikawa wished him with a small, stiff wave of his hand, and spun around to rush away, now acutely aware of the young man's gaze on his retreating back.

That could have gone a lot better. But it also could have gone a lot worse. Oikawa felt good about it all day, even when his stomach ached, complaining for sustenance, and even when he had a sudden bout of dizziness in his calculus class. He realized, upon his way home, that he did not want to see the corridor empty again, and that he wanted, at some point, to see the mysterious young man smile.

With that thought in mind, he made himself another sandwich the next morning, and kissed his mother goodbye before rushing out of the door with a Ziploc in hand.

The young man was already there, in his usual spot, as was his usual, and as per Oikawa's usual, he quickly made his way over to the guy, stopping next to him as he nodded his thanks to a passerby that dropped a few coins for him.

"Morning!" he greeted a bit too cheerily, visibly startling the young man, who whipped around to look at him with wide eyes. He calmed down a bit when he felt no threat, and then his eyes widened again when he spotted the sandwich in his hands.

"You came here yesterday, too," he remarked carefully, reaching up to take the sandwich when Oikawa presented it to him.

"Yup."

"And two days before yesterday," he recalled as well.

"That's me," Oikawa grinned, his heart fluttering at the thought of being remembered by this guy.

"Why are you doing this?" the young man suddenly asked, putting the bagged sandwich down on the floor next to him. "Are you gonna ask something in return?"

"No, of course not," Oikawa looked affronted, and maybe slightly insulted. "You said you wanted money for food, and I'd rather give people food than change that they could spend on anything they want."

"I get that, but... Three times?" the young man raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms again. "I can't believe that it's a coincidence."

"Wow, rude," Oikawa huffed. "See if I make you a sandwich tomorrow, then."

He saw the immediate change in the young man's expression, and regretted his words when the suspicion fell off his tanned face in a second flat.

"Ah, well..." he didn't seem to have the words for it, stuck between his pride and his survival. "I mean..."

Oikawa did not like the way he looked so insecure. He did not like seeing this part of the young man, who'd so far seemed so undeterred by his circumstances.

"It's fine, it's fine," he waved him off. "Make it up to me by telling me your name. I'm Oikawa Tooru, by the way."

"Ah." He seemed thankful for the escape, and yet was thrown off by the question. "I... I'm Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime."

"Nice to meet you, Hajime-kun," Oikawa flashed him a peace sign and winked, his signature move.

(Iwaizumi did not seem impressed).

"Likewise. Thank you for the food, Oikawa-san," the young man, Iwaizumi, grumbled.

"Oikawa-san?" the brunet groaned. "Oh, come on. You're making me sound like I'm forty!"

"Could've fooled me," Iwaizumi snorted, but he wasn't as quiet as he thought he'd been, and Oikawa hear him.

"So rude!" It reminded him of the way he and his sister bantered. He fell into a very familiar pattern with the young man in front of him. "I'm twenty years old, you little punk."

"What a shocker," Iwaizumi shrugged, and fell silent.

This brought up a concern in the forefront of Oikawa's mind, and his expression tightened minutely.

"Iwaizumi," he began carefully. "How old are you?"

The homeless young man suddenly turned his gaze away, seemingly considering his words.

"I'm twenty, too," he finally replied, a bit lowly.

"Why are you here?" Oikawa immediately asked, without even considering the other's feelings at first. However, when Iwaizumi's shoulders stilled, probably as he held his breath, Oikawa knew he should have thought about his question before asking it.

"Aren't you going to miss the subway if you keep asking so many questions?" Iwaizumi finally changed the subject, rather smoothly at that, and Oikawa did not comment. Instead, feeling a bit awkward, he nodded.

"Ah, you're right. I'll leave you to it. Have a nice day, Iwaizumi," Oikawa flashed him a shaky smile.

"You, too, Oikawa," Iwaizumi mumbled from behind him. And as Oikawa took a few steps forward, he realized that he wasn't done yet, and turned back around. As he'd felt on every previous instance, Iwaizumi was watching him leave, and was surprised to see him turn.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Oikawa nodded to him, appreciating the way his eyes widened just a little bit, and the way his lips parted in a tiny gasp.

He left before Iwaizumi could reply- or object.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa was pleasantly surprised when he turned to engage into the long corridor, the next morning, and his gaze immediately met Iwaizumi's when he instinctively looked at where the young man would always sit.

His heart skipped a beat when he realized that Iwaizumi was probably staring for a while, hoping to spot him, and he accelerated a little bit, weaving through the crowd to get to him.

"Hey," Iwaizumi greeted him, relaxing when he got near enough to see him. Instinctively, his eyes went to the bag in Oikawa's hands, and Oikawa laughed when he saw his gaze target the sandwich in it.

"Morning," he greeted, handing him the sandwich, which Iwaizumi accepted gratefully. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm okay," Iwaizumi nodded. "You?"

"Just fine. Bit cold. It definitely feels like October now," Oikawa remarked.

"Well, yeah. That jacket looks way too thin for this weather," Iwaizumi muttered, motioning his head at Oikawa's denim jacket. Underneath, he wore a t-shirt, and perhaps Iwaizumi was right. Oikawa wouldn't admit it, though.

"But it's fashion, Iwaizumi. Fashion!" he insisted, twirling around to give him a look at his outfit, black skinny jeans and sneakers, and all.

"Fashion won't keep you from getting a cold, though," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Especially since you're so skinny, you could fly away in the wind."

Oikawa's breath flew from his body at the offhanded comment.

Iwaizumi seemed to notice his distress, and immediately frowned.

"You okay?" he asked carefully.

"Yeah, sorry," Oikawa snapped himself out of it, feeling the overwhelming urge to go find a mirror. Did he really look that thin? And if so, was he happy?

"You're not actually gonna fly away in the wind, if that's why you were worried," Iwaizumi reassured him in a poor attempt at a joke, and Oikawa laughed a bit uncomfortably.

"It's rude to comment on someone's weight, you know."

"They say that for girls, Oikawa-chan," Iwaizumi teased, glad that they weren't staying in the awkward atmosphere.

"Well, Iwa-chan," Oikawa retorted, happy with his comeback. "I'm more precious than any girl, I'll have you know."

"I wonder how your girlfriend puts up with you," Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows.

"I don't have a girlfriend, Iwaizumi. Was that a subtle way of knowing if I'm single or not?" Oikawa teased, aware that time was passing and that he had to go to college, but not wanting to leave just yet.

"Not in your wildest dreams," Iwaizumi huffed, looking away, and Oikawa bit back a laugh at the way his cheeks seemed to heat up. "Just figured you had one, since you always have breakfast in your hands in the morning."

"You thought I've been making these sandwiches for a girl?" Oikawa laughed, genuinely amused by Iwaizumi's embarrassment.

"S-Stop laughing! It makes sense!"

"No way. If I had to make breakfast for a girl, it'd be pancakes and eggs!" Oikawa boasted.

"On the go? Good luck with that."

"Tupperware dishes, Iwa-chan. Super helpful when I need to impress a lady so early in the morning."

"Kinda bulky, though, and they leak in your bag more often than not," Iwaizumi grumbled.

"Speaking from experience?"

"Absolutely," Iwaizumi nodded. "I've perfected my technique of sneaking food out of buffet restaurants."

"You're horrible," Oikawa teased.

"I'm also surviving," Iwaizumi pointed out, and they fell silent.

A new crowd of commuters walked past them, their footsteps clamouring loudly in the long corridor, and all the while, Iwaizumi and Oikawa kept looking at one another, as if trying to figure one another out.

"Well if you're not making them for a girl..." Iwaizumi finally began again, and he picked up the sandwich to hand it back to the brunet standing next to him. "Then this is your breakfast. I'd feel bad taking it any longer."

"No, no, Iwa-chan," Oikawa waved him off, meaning to correct himself, but not saying anything when Iwaizumi did not react to his strange nickname. "I... I have breakfast at home, so it's okay."

"Then this is your lunch. Even more reason for me not to take it," Iwaizumi frowned, waiting expectantly for Oikawa to take his sandwich back.

"No, Iwaizumi, it's not... It's not my lunch, either. It's for you," Oikawa assured him, pushing the sandwich back at him. "I'm not gonna eat it, even if you give it back. Please take it."

"But..." Iwaizumi was blushing again, not sure how to handle the information. "How come you had this on you the first day?"

"I was having breakfast on the go that day."

"So you didn't eat because of me," Iwaizumi frowned.

"Okay, stop," Oikawa halted their conversation irritably. "Does it matter? Just take it. I'm making these for you, and I want you to have them. And if you don't want them, all you have to do is say it, and I won't bother you anymore."

"No, it's not like that," Iwaizumi shook his head quickly. "I really appreciate it. I really do. You're very kind to someone like me, and... and you don't even know me. I just... I just don't want you to go out of your way for me."

"Silly Iwa-chan," Oikawa smiled at him, trying to reassure him, and broke away a bit, just to signal that he was going to leave. "I walk down this corridor every school day, so I'm not going out of my way for you."

"That's not what I-"

"I'm gonna be late to my first class," Oikawa interrupted him, waving slightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Iwaizumi."

"Yeah," the dark-haired boy nodded, putting the sandwich in his lap, as if not knowing what to do with it. "Have a good day, Oikawa."

Oikawa smiled to him, and hurried away, his smile falling as soon as he turned his back. Iwaizumi was beginning to sound a bit like his mother and his sister, and he didn't like it. He didn't want to be wary around Iwaizumi as well. He was comfortable around Iwaizumi, and could let loose without fear of judgement.

A part of him insisted that he wouldn't have to be afraid if he told somebody that he hadn't been eating regularly. The same little voice tried to convince him that he'd be much happier if he didn't have to worry about his weight and what he ate every single day, but Oikawa refused to let himself be influenced. He'd sunk too deep to rise back to the surface now. At this point, he was closer to drowning than anything else, and he couldn't imagine himself ending up otherwise.

Maybe he just needed to hit rock bottom to regain his footing.

With that conviction in mind, he went on with his day, and tried not to swing by the bathroom to check his figure more than two times.

That evening, he had no excuses to skip out on dinner, so he resolved himself to eating with his family. He had a little bit on his first serving and ate slowly, getting a second small serving that he scattered around his plate to make it seem like there was less of it left in the end. That tactic seemed to be foolproof, especially since he had enough energy when he spoke to distract his mother and sister from the amount he ate. In that sense, he felt powerful, and he felt good about himself. He felt bad for lying, but could not bring himself to change, not when he saw that neither of them noticed the small amount of food he ended up ingesting.

When he slinked back to his room to begin working on an assignment, his mind wandered back to Iwaizumi, and he suddenly felt guilty again, for not eating when kind, innocent people like Iwaizumi had nothing to eat at all. Iwaizumi deserved so much more than the cold tiles of the subway corridor and the occasional tip into his cup. And Oikawa deserved nothing, for being ungrateful of everything he'd been granted.

The next day, he brought Iwaizumi two sandwiches.

"What's the occasion?" he frowned, thumbing the two sandwiches pressed tightly together in the small Ziploc bag.

"It's the weekend. Have a ball," Oikawa grinned at him. "I'll see you on Monday, okay Iwa-chan?"

"Yeah. Thanks for this," Iwaizumi nodded, seeming a bit reluctant to let him go. "Umm... Take care, okay, Oikawa?"

Iwaizumi was asking him to eat three times a day, stop weighing himself so much, stop obsessing over how much he ate, and to stop feeling guilty for both eating and not eating. Iwaizumi was asking him for a lot in that short, simple sentence.

"Mhm. You, too, Iwa-chan. Stay safe," Oikawa wished him, feeling a bit uncomfortable walking away from him for the next three days, but trusted that the young man, who looked like he'd gotten used to the streets already, would actually stay safe.

On Monday, Iwaizumi's dark circles seemed to dig deeper into his skin, and the small cut on his lip that he kept licking, as if to soothe pain, grabbed Oikawa's attention immediately. They made small talk, and after Oikawa left him with his usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he left hurriedly with a heavy heart.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

It was strange how Iwaizumi became a part of Oikawa's routine. The weeks passed, and every weekday morning, Oikawa would rush to find Iwaizumi in his usual place, and hand him his breakfast. The temperatures got colder, Oikawa lost weight, Iwaizumi turned a bit paler, midterms came and went, and yet this part of their routine remained the same.

But they were careful with one another. It was bizarre how quickly they got to know one another intimately enough to set boundaries without even having to say them out loud. Iwaizumi never spoke of the fact that Oikawa brought him lots of food, and yet obviously lost weight. In turn, Oikawa never spoke of the fact that despite scrounging up change every day and working on weekends, Iwaizumi was still on the streets after all this time.

November came, and passed surprisingly quickly. The first snow fell upon the city, and soon enough, Oikawa had to exchange his beloved denim jacket for a warmer winter coat. Iwaizumi seemed to double up on hoodies, but despite having a few changes of clothes (which he obviously did not keep in his backpack, which meant that he had to live somewhere...), he did not have appropriate winter equipment, and Oikawa ended up giving him a hat he never used anymore.

Or 'lending' it, as Iwaizumi insisted, unable to accept the gift for what it was.

And yet he was there. He was always there, sitting on the floor of the corridor in the subway station, hopefully glancing at the corner where Oikawa would appear every morning around the same time. Even when the wind outside howled and rushed down even into the bowels of the subway station, even when the commuters shook snow off of their heads by Iwaizumi's feet, he was there.

And Oikawa wondered what it was that kept him there, in the sub-zero temperatures, hugging himself to preserve warmth and waiting as if for a miracle. The only thing that he obviously seemed to wait for every day was Oikawa.

At some point, Iwaizumi was unable to grasp the bagged sandwich Oikawa handed to him like every other morning, fingers too stiff from the cold to ensure a proper grip. And at that moment, Oikawa knew that something between them had changed.

Two months after they met, spending five minutes with each other in the morning, Oikawa decided that it was time they brought change upon their relationship.

"Iwa-chan, you're freezing." He meant to say it in a loud and obnoxious voice, just to throw it out there as a joke, but all that came out of his throat was a solemn and resigned tone.

"Gee, tell me something I don't know, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi growled, obviously agitated by the biting cold. Even down in the subway corridor, his breath was coming out in puffs.

"Okay, well, my morning class isn't anything important today," Oikawa shrugged, and then extended his hand down at Iwaizumi. This time, there was no sandwich to hand off; it really was just his hand. "Come, Iwa-chan. Let's skip the class and go have a nice, warm coffee somewhere."

"W-What?" Iwaizumi's eyes widened, his jaw too stiff to articulate properly. His nose was red, and his lips were pale, and Oikawa did not like it. "What do you mean...?"

"It means I'm treating you to some coffee, Iwa-chan, what else would it mean?" Oikawa rolled his eyes, shaking his hand as if to emphasize it. "The temperature is almost as cold as your heart right now, and that's pretty damn cold, so get off the floor before you get sick. I know a nice coffee place by my college, and I get student discounts there, so I'll take you."

"Uhh, n-no, that's okay," Iwaizumi shook his head. "You should go to class, Oikawa. At this rate, you'll already be weight- late! Ah, I meant late. Sorry."

"See," Oikawa swallowed heavily, tapping his foot. "You're so cold you don't even know what you're saying anymore. Come oooon, I'm getting cold, too!"

"Then just go," Iwaizumi tried one last time, glancing up at Oikawa as if testing him, and Oikawa did not fail this challenge.

"Not without you," he grinned brightly, and shook his hand one last time to signal him to take it.

And Iwaizumi did. He hesitated, looked dubiously into Oikawa's eyes to be sure of his genuine intentions, and then took his hand to pull himself up.

(For someone who barely ate enough every day, Iwaizumi sure as hell was strong, and Oikawa almost stumbled when he found himself struggling to support his weight).

"Alright," the homeless young man acquiesced quietly, grabbing his backpack, and emptying the change in his coffee cup into his sweatpants' pockets. "Just this once."

"You won't regret it, Iwa-chan. Everyone on campus says they have the best lattes ever!" Oikawa cheered, holding onto his hand for just a second too long before leading him towards the northbound platform.

"What do you think?" Iwaizumi asked, if only to make conversation, and suddenly, Oikawa's good mood shrivelled up and died.

When he'd invited Iwaizumi, it had been on a whim, and he hadn't realized that he'd have to have something, too, if they went together. And now, just thinking of having to eat anything at the cafe had his heart doing backflips in his chest.

"I-I don't know," he stuttered out, trying desperately to find a save. "I haven't tried them. I'm not much one for sweets."

"But you bring me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every morning," Iwaizumi remarked matter-of-factly.

"That's cause you like them, Iwa-chan."

"Well," Iwaizumi scratched his cheek idly, looking away. "Not particularly."

"What?" Oikawa cried out, alerting a few people around them as they reached the tracks. "Are you serious, Iwa-chan!? All this time, for two months, I've been bringing you PB&J sandwiches and you don't even like them!? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Ever heard the expression 'beggars can't be choosers', Oikawa?" Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. "That's literally my situation. Food is food, and I'll take what I can get."

"You should've said something," Oikawa whined.

"Yes, and when you came up to me one morning, I'd just say 'So hey, Shittykawa, by the way, thanks for making me breakfast every day out of your own volition but I don't like what you're bringing me, so bring me something else', and that would somehow be okay," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

"Well, I mean..." Oikawa thought for a second, stepping onto the train with Iwaizumi when it arrived. "Ugh, I don't know. That's still kind of awful, though, eating something you don't want to eat."

"Hmm," Iwaizumi hummed thoughtfully, glancing at Oikawa as if trying to figure him out. "Anyway. Don't worry about it."

"I will!" Oikawa insisted. "What do you want instead? Do you like cream cheese?"

"That's expensive!"

"My mom buys tons of it cause she makes cheesecakes a lot," Oikawa assured him. "She won't mind if I tell her I'm making myself cheese sandwiches for breakfast."

"Wait... Does she even know you're doing this for me?" Iwaizumi blanched a bit. "Don't take advantage of your mom like that, oh my god."

"She doesn't know, but it's not because of you, or anything, Iwa-chan," Oikawa assured him. However, if he told his mom about Iwaizumi, he'd also have to tell her how the breakfast sandwiches he diligently made himself every morning were actually not things that he was eating. "Don't worry about it. She's really nice, she would definitely approve."

"What, of you feeding hobos in the subway?" Iwaizumi huffed, defeated, and let his shoulders sag a bit. "Speaking of which, why me?"

"Huh?"

"Why'd you pick me?" Iwaizumi asked, seeming a bit embarrassed by the question. "There are so many hobos in the city, of all shapes and sizes. You could've had your pick, but... you chose me for your good deed of the day..."

"No way, Iwa-chan. I didn't do it for good karma, or anything," Oikawa assured him amusedly. "I did it cause you looked really young, and I was wondering how someone like you ended up in a place like that." In fact, he still wondered, and he still wanted to know, but Iwaizumi didn't seem to want to share anytime soon.

"That's... that's a long story." As usual, there was an excuse for him not to elaborate, but Oikawa understood him. He had his fair share of secrets, too, and was not keen on admitting anything just yet.

"That's fine," Oikawa waved him off, and expertly changed the subject. "So hey, I was thinking that maybe it's time you met Makki and Mattsun."

"Makki and Mattsun...? Is that... your family?" Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at Oikawa, doubtful. "Why would I-"

"They're not my family, silly," Oikawa laughed. "They're my friends. Best friends since high school."

"Oh, I see." Iwaizumi bit his lip. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Oikawa didn't see a problem. In fact, Hanamaki and Matsukawa would probably be thrilled at having another topic to tease Oikawa about.

"I don't know. I'm a stranger, after all," Iwaizumi grumbled, shoving his hands into his hoodie's pockets. "I don't... I'm not even anyone special to you, or anything."

"Iwa-chan!" Oikawa gasped loudly, making a show of looking extremely insulted. "How dare you! I take it back, the weather isn't a tenth of how cold your heart its!"

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Iwaizumi balked, and flinched slightly when Oikawa put a hand on his shoulder.

"Iwaizumi Hajime," Oikawa began again. "Since you haven't noticed in the last two months, I'm here to give you the most shocking news of your life."

"What's that?"

"We're friends, you dummy," Oikawa finally sighed out, grinning widely at him. His skin stretched a bit over his cheekbones but he grinned anyway, and it was somehow brighter than anything Iwaizumi had ever seen before.

He had half a mind to cry, but his tears would probably freeze into ice the moment they left his eyes, so he decided against it.

"Tch," he opted to click his tongue, looking away in absolute embarrassment, and maybe, just maybe, the heat that bloomed across his veins was that of his heart being warmed up by the brunet's words. "You're so dramatic all the time. You could've just said that in the first place."

"It wouldn't have gotten through your thick skull. Besides, I got to see you blush, Iwa-chan," Oikawa stuck his tongue out, laughing when Iwaizumi threatened him with bodily harm. And it felt good. It felt really, really good.

Being around Iwaizumi Hajime did Oikawa a world of good.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Their 'date', for a lack of better term, went well as far as Oikawa was concerned. The cafe was not too full, which meant that the noise level wasn't deafening (unlike midterms and finals weeks, when everyone would come to this cafe to cram). As promised, Oikawa treated Iwaizumi to one of their lattes and a slice of (overpriced, but so worth it for Iwaizumi's expression) cake.

Iwaizumi insisted several times that Oikawa should have some cake, too, or at least order himself a drink, but Oikawa turned him down politely, spouting his usual excuses like having eaten a big breakfast, and not being able to eat much so early in the morning. Iwaizumi did not seem to believe him, but only insisted once in a while. However, that lasted until Iwaizumi finished half of his drink, and then put it down with an air of resolution around him.

"What's up, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked him, confused by his sudden change in posture.

"I can't accept it if it's like this," Iwaizumi mumbled, clutching the drink to warm his still-cold extremities. "If you're not having anything, it feels like you're doing this out of pity for a stranger. It doesn't... You said we're friends, but it doesn't feel like this is something friends would do. Please get yourself something so we can share this moment."

"Okay, Iwa-chan, that was mad cheesy." And mad gay, but Oikawa would definitely not say it. "But fine. Fine, I'll get something. Wait for a second."

It wasn't that Iwaizumi's argument hadn't been compelling- on the contrary, it was absolutely true. However, it was probably the fierce look of determination etched into his pale face that hammered it home for Oikawa. He came back a few minutes later with a cup of black tea with milk in it, and slid back into the booth her had claimed with Iwaizumi.

"Milk tea?" Iwaizumi scrunched his nose slightly. "Ew."

"It's like a latte, but with tea. Grow up," Oikawa rolled his eyes.

"Doesn't it taste like... warm, bitter water?" Iwaizumi asked dubiously.

"No, it doesn't. It tastes like warm, bitter milk. I prefer my liquids a bit thicker," Oikawa explained, idly dipping the teabag into the cup. Back when he'd lost his appetite, but still felt like it was important to get his daily calories, he'd had no trouble with meal replacement milkshakes, although he didn't fancy electrolyte replacement drinks. But that felt like months ago, when Oikawa was only beginning to spiral down into the abyss where he had lost himself now.

They spoke a little bit, sharing about their individual life stories. Iwaizumi didn't say much about his past, but seemed a bit more inclined to open up about his life on the streets. An hour into their conversation, Oikawa knew that Iwaizumi took his showers at random colleges and universities across the city because he was young enough to pass off as a student and sneak into the locker rooms without being asked questions. In the fall, when it wasn't all that cold, he used to sleep outside on benches, or behind hedges in parks, but now, in winter, it had become a bit harder for him to find places to sleep. He often rode on the subway and took naps, back and forth on the longest line to get as much sleep time as possible during the day, or even went to nap in college libraries in the daytime. However, he still did his best to find a place to sleep at night, and his favourite thing to do was to go to a hospital late at night, and fall asleep in the staff's locker rooms. Again, thanks to his youthful appearance, people didn't tend to ask questions, and if they did, he'd just pretend he was a hospital employee who fell asleep after his evening shift. He couldn't always pull that off, though, and reluctantly admitted to having a last resort.

In a very quiet voice, so quiet it almost broke Oikawa's heart in two, he admitted that when he really couldn't avoid sleeping through the night and couldn't find a safe place, he could always go to an abandoned building in the bad part of town where junkies usually went to ride off their high, and claim himself a corner amongst them. It wasn't safe at all; he laughed bitterly when he explained that he had to sleep on his bag and always kept a Swiss knife in his hand when he slept, but it was free, and in Iwaizumi's circumstances, it's all he could ask for.

Oikawa thought back to the several scars he'd seen on Iwaizumi's soft skin so far. The occasional split lip or the strange cuts on his cheekbones, to name the most common, but Oikawa did not like to think that it was because someone had actually intentionally done harm to innocent, kind-hearted Iwaizumi.

Hearing it all made him want to take Iwaizumi home with him, kind of like a lost dog, but he was sure that Iwaizumi would definitely dislike the comparison, so he said nothing.

But he liked hearing him talk. More than anything, he liked discovering him, unraveling the mystery that was the young man who sat in the corridor at his subway station every day, as if waiting for a miracle, and brightening when he saw Oikawa come around the corner to see him again.

It felt like Iwaizumi was becoming more and more alive the more he spoke about himself and shared about his experiences. It seemed to help lighten the load on his shoulders, too, and he seemed to be much more inclined to banter with Oikawa, the more he shared.

There were smudges of chocolate cake on the side of his mouth by the time he finished, and his nose was no longer red. His lips were rosier now, probably thanks to the warm coffee, and when he laughed, it no longer felt like it was superficial, but rather that it was a response to something that genuinely made him feel like life was worth living. Iwaizumi tended to cock his head a little bit when he was really interested or engaged in something being discussed, and the sparkle in his gaze no longer made it look stormy. Instead, it looked like there was a new dawn breaking within the vast expanse of his eyes.

Oikawa watched his lips move as he recounted an adventure or another, and figured that this was what it felt like to fall in love.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

[Oikawa]: Heyooo, is anyone online?

[Matsukawa]: what do you need, deserter?

[Oikawa]: Deserter?

[Hanamaki]: u ditched us in calculus today man. And here I was lookin forward to seein u.

[Hanamaki]: Last time i ever do that

[Oikawa]: Ok but who cares? You see me every day?

[Matsukawa]: oh snap

[Matsukawa]: it's ok makki he doesn't mean it

[Hanamaki]: i'm over u oikawa. i'm finally movin on.

[Oikawa]: Ok but just listen to this for a second.

[Hanamaki]: Not listenin to anymore of ur lies, Oikawa.

[Oikawa]: There's a guy. His name's Iwaizumi, and I kind of want to touch his butt.

[Hanamaki]: I'm listenin.

[Matsukawa]: Holy shit. Kinda wanna touch his butt like...

[Oikawa]: Like get in his pants, Mattsun, you know what I mean.

[Hanamaki]: word of advice oikawa. If ur gonna hit it, hit it until it breaks.

[Oikawa]: omg can you stop quoting that for fuck's sake (๑･`▱´･๑) It was one time.

[Matsukawa]: In makki's defense, it was one time when you were so drunk you described to us how playing volleyball was like having sex, but better. Idk about you, but that's quotable for a lifetime.

[Oikawa]: Ok but are you gonna listen to me or not?

[Hanamaki]: No lol

[Hanamaki]: Got better things to do than listen to u whine about ur neediness

[Oikawa]: like what, watch anime? Your waifu is shit, Makki (•̀ㅂ•́ )

[Matsukawa]: Aight i'm gonna leave before world war three erupts. Call me when there's a truce.

[Hanamaki]: Nono you know what? Oikawa's bein srs so imma be srs too. So tell me about ur dick woes my friend.

[Oikawa]: His name's Iwaizumi and he's homeless.

[Matsukawa]: I'm leaving.

[Matsukawa]: i'm not sayin you shouldn't chase ur dreams, but when you do, please don't touch me. Like i dont wanna get aids or smth

[Oikawa]: Mattsun so rude! ლ(｡-﹏-｡ ლ) He doesn't have aids omfg. He sleeps w drug addicts but he doesnt do any drugs

[Hanamaki]: what the fuck

[Oikawa]: I didn't mean it like sleep sleep w drug addicts, I meant it like actually sleep. In the same place. it's complicated.

[Oikawa]: But he's a nice guy. I rly want you guys to meet him

[Matsukawa]: Oikawa honey as your father i must disapprove of your life choices

[Hanamaki]: Oikawa, your mother is not proud of u at all

[Hanamaki]: omg mattsun

[Hanamaki]: but i feel like i should be the father here

[Oikawa]: Both of you are geeks, don't fight

[Oikawa]: but srsly. He's rly nice, just rly down on his luck and we've been meeting for two months now...

[Matsukawa]: didn't know your hobbies including chilling w hobos

[Hanamaki]: what did u do, drop a coin into an old beggar's hand and suddenly he transforms into prince charming?

[Oikawa]: no he was charming from the moment i gave him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for breakfast.

[Matsukawa]: Aight this is getting crazy for real tho

[Matsukawa]: i'm callin a general assembly for the squad

[Hanamaki]: time & place captn?

[Matsukawa]: tomorrow, lower atrium an hour before physics. Well talk abt oikawa's dick woes over lunch

[Hanamaki]: there goes my appetite

[Hanamaki]: but maybe talkin about dick will get oikawa's appetite going again

[Oikawa]: makki pls (つ ͠° ͟ ͟ʖ ͡° )つ

[Hanamaki]: fuckin love that emoji tbh

[Hanamaki]: but im srs

[Hanamaki]: im ur mother oikawa

[Hanamaki]: did u eat today

[Hanamaki]: oikawa

[Hanamaki]: oikawa come on

[Hanamaki]: im gonna keep bothering u

[Hanamaki]: oikawa just say yes or no or a little or maybe or idk just say somethin im givin up on u

[Hanamaki]: Oikawa, I'm serious.

[Oikawa]: had dinner w aya

[Oikawa]: see u tmorrow

[Matsukawa]: See you tomorrow, oikawa.

[Hanamaki]: seeya man. dont dream of hobo dick tonight

[Matsukawa]: k stfu. makki i think you need to eat a dick too sometimes

[Hanamaki]: gimme ur availabilities & i'll make an opening in my schedule

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Iwaizumi did not look too good the next morning. Oikawa had been excited to see him again, rushing to the subway station with a few minutes to spare to be able to spend some more time with him, but even from afar, he could tell that something was wrong.

As he got closer, he noted how Iwaizumi's eyes seemed more sunken than usual, how he was barely holding his knees to his chest, and how he would sway once in a while, even if he was sitting. Someone dropped some coins into his coffee cup, and Oikawa watched him take a few seconds to process that it had happened before sluggishly nodding at a person who'd already disappeared.

He reached his side just as Iwaizumi coughed, once, twice, three times, wet and heavy, as if something was clawing its way out of his lungs.

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa gasped, squatting next to him. His weakened legs soon couldn't handle his weight, though, and he knelt instead. "You look terrible, and that's saying something."

"Ah, you probably didn't look at yourself in the mirror this morning," Iwaizumi weakly smirked, lapsing into another coughing fit immediately after. "It's fine. I caught a cold."

"It's not fine!" Oikawa worriedly fussed, putting a gloved hand to Iwaizumi's forehead. "Like I can't feel anything but I sure as hell am not taking my gloves off, and I'm sure you have a fever."

"It was bound to happen at some point," Iwaizumi shrugged, pushing Oikawa's hand away gently. "Please don't worry about it."

"Of course I'm gonna worry about it, Iwa-chan," Oikawa huffed, putting the bagged sandwich- cream cheese and tomatoes, this time- on the ground next to Iwaizumi. "You're my friend, and you're sick. It's reason enough for me to worry. Do you need to go somewhere? Medication, maybe?"

"No, it's fine, Oikawa," Iwaizumi huffed, a bit irritated. "It's just a cold, jeez. The fever will break soon, and the cough will be gone in a couple of weeks."

Oikawa did not have the heart to tell him that that was the expected recovery rate for people who had access to warm clothes, good food, medication, and lots of rest.

"Go someplace warm today, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whined. "Like a mall... but those aren't too warm either... Ride the subway at rush hour! But you might get everyone else sick... Um... Go to a library, those are usually nice and cozy."

"I'll figure it out," Iwaizumi flashed him a weak smile that was meant to be comforting. "Thanks, Oikawa. And thanks for breakfast, once again."

"It's cheese this time. I didn't forget," Oikawa hummed proudly.

"Thank you," Iwaizumi nodded, and then stuffed the lower half of his face into his scarf, turning his eyes away. "Thank you, Oikawa... You... You didn't have to do any of this, but... You're trying so hard for someone like me..."

And since Oikawa had gotten to know Iwaizumi's mannerisms over the past two months, he knew that this was something he wasn't really expected to hear. So he faked ignorance.

"You're gonna have to speak up if you want me to hear you, Iwa-chan," he hummed pleasantly, glad that he was so good at lying.

Iwaizumi looked a bit surprised, but also a bit thankful, so Oikawa let it be.

"What, you're getting so old you can't hear me anymore?" he teased, and then shook his head. "I was saying that you're gonna be late if you stick around talking to someone like me. You skipped your morning class yesterday, so don't miss it today."

"Wish I could, but we have a quiz today," Oikawa groaned. "I shouldn't be late."

"No..." Iwaizumi seemed like he was holding back, but suddenly let out another string of wet coughs. "Anyway. Get going, and good luck on your quiz. You'll need it, what with the empty space inside your skull."

"So mean, Iwa-chan," Oikawa whined, as was his usual, but did not want to leave just yet. Something told him to stay with Iwaizumi, and not to leave just yet.

But he had no choice. Iwaizumi was his friend, but he also had a quiz to get to.

"So... have a safe weekend," he began half-heartedly, getting back up to his feet. "Stay warm, drink lots of water, and go nap somewhere quiet. Not the subway, you won't get any rest of the subway. Go to a university library, those are usually open 'till late."

"I'll do my best," Iwaizumi assured him weakly, clutching himself tighter as Oikawa headed away. "Have a nice weekend."

"Take care," Oikawa replied, and walked off. This time, as disturbing as it felt, he tried not to think of the fact that Iwaizumi's eyes were not following him. He just hoped he wouldn't be as sick by Monday, when he would see him next.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

On Monday, Iwaizumi was not in his usual spot in the corridor, and Oikawa noticed his absence as soon as he turned the corner. His heart leapt up in his throat, and he hoped that perhaps he'd gone deeper into the subway station, just to avoid the cold air whistling down into the corridor, but until he made his way to the tracks, there was no sign of Iwaizumi at all.

He wasn't there.

Oikawa was left to take the subway with his cheese sandwich in hand, and thumbed it idly on his way to college. There was a beggar, an old, ragged-looking man with his hand out in the station leading up to his school, and Oikawa gave him the sandwich instead. However, the man's gratittude did not feel as rewarding as Iwaizumi's.

Oikawa liked his routine, and absolutely disliked the fact that Iwaizumi had gone and broken it.

He apologized to Hanamaki and Matsukawa that day, for not being able to bring Iwaizumi to meet them, and they forgave him in their usual joking fashion. Still, even they could tell that Oikawa was worried.

The days passed, and Iwaizumi did not return. And by Thursday, Oikawa was wholly and thoroughly worried about him, imagining the worst.

"What if he's dead, Mattsun?" he wondered out loud over lunch, in the loose sense of the term. The three of them were sitting on a rarely-used staircase in the school, Hanamaki and Matsukawa having lunch whilst Oikawa rambled on.

"He's probably not dead, Oikawa," Hanamaki remarked idly, pushing around some of his food with his chopsticks.

"But what if he is!? What if he froze to death? Or one of his druggie roommates stabbed him while he was sleeping? Or what if he starved to death?"

"Find your chill, Oikawa," Hanamaki sighed. "He disappeared three days after you last saw him, people don't starve in three days. You know better than anyone."

"Low blow, Makki," Oikawa frowned, finally stopping his pacing and sitting down on the staircase with them. "My point is... Actually, I don't know what my point is. He's not there, it'll almost be a week I haven't seen him, and I'm worried."

"That's called dependency, Oikawa, and that's not very good," Hanamaki continued, Matsukawa simply observing them and occasionally slurping on his ramen noodles. "Don't crack your pretty little head open about it. Maybe he found a daytime job or something. Or maybe he figured he'd try a change of environment and go somewhere else."

"He would've told me!"

"I don't know, Oikawa," Matsukawa piped in. "He has his own life and his own problems to deal with. You're friends, obviously, but there comes a time when people put their personal lives over those of their friends and family. If he's going through a crisis, he probably wouldn't have thought of waiting to tell you before dealing with it."

"That makes sense, and I hate it," Oikawa pouted childishly, crossing his arms. "I just... I just want to help him out."

"You really, really like him, don't you?" Hamaki hummed in a rare moment of seriousness.

"I do," Oikawa nodded, smiling a bit sadly. "I think I love him."

"Okay," Hanamaki sighed, picking up a small broccoli with his chopsticks, and holding it out towards Oikawa's face. "But love yourself a little bit more, too."

"I can't do that," Oikawa tried to smile, only for it to fall right off his face. He eyed the vegetable being held out to him with a mixed sense of dread and desire.

"Oikawa," Matsukawa jumped in again, quiet for the most part in these sorts of discussion usually. "When are we gonna talk about your problem?"

"We're not gonna, Mattsun," Oikawa shook his head, his heart flipping at the mention of it being a problem. "I don't want to."

"But you have to, at some point," Matsukawa pursed his lips. "Have you told your family? Seen a doctor or something?"

"No. No way."

"Then we have to talk about it," Matsukawa insisted. "You're not doing yourself any good, and this has to stop."

"You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?" Oikawa narrowed his eyes at his dark-haired friend, who only smiled a bit ironically at him.

"No. That's your decision. But Makki and I have been in on this since the very beginning, and you can't expect us to just sit by and watch you kill yourself."

"I'm not killing myself, Mattsun, that's so excessive."

"Bullshit," Hanamaki raised an eyebrow at him, his chopsticks still held out. "I don't mean to be rude or anything... Well, scratch that, I'll be as rude as I want to be, but you are very visibly losing weight, and you're really really pale. It doesn't suit you. The Oikawa I knew in high school would he horrified if he saw himself in the mirror like this."

"The Oikawa back in high school didn't believe himself to be a piece of shit," Oikawa chuckled self-deprecatingly. "This is the same old song sung over and over again. Guys, we've been through all of this several times. I'm not... I'm not ready to change anything just yet, okay? This is my routine, and I-"

"But Iwaizumi was not a part of your routine, two months ago," Matsukawa butted in, looking down at him with his piercing eyes. "And yet today, here you are, wishing he could be a bigger part of your life. You can change, Oikawa. You can change in the blink of an eye. All you have to do is decide that you want to change."

Oikawa just looked at him, unsure what to say. The two boys had been his best friends for as long as he could remember, and he was so grateful of their involvement and dedication. However, he disliked how painfully honest they could be sometimes, and he disliked how their words and actions hit too close to home, or sometimes hit the nail on the head. But Oikawa did not dislike them. In fact, they were probably a large part of what still kept him alive.

Thinking about it for a few seconds longer, he wordlessly turned his head and took the broccoli Makki was offering between his teeth, chewing slowly and swallowing with a grimace. But when he was done, there were soft smiles on both Hanamaki's and Matsukawa's faces, and they changed the topic very smoothly.

It reassured Oikawa, that Makki and Mattsun did not intend to quit being a part of his routine just yet. Even when he had nothing, he still seemed to have them.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

December rolled in over the weekend, and Oikawa could not help but be worried sick for Iwaizumi's wellbeing when it snowed yet again. He really hoped nothing bad had happened to him. He wasn't sure what to expect when he took the bus to the subway station on Monday, but thankfully, as he turned the corner, he saw Iwaizumi sitting against the wal, curled up on himself.

This time, he almost sprinted towards him in his haste to see him again.

"Iwa-chan!" he called out as he got to him, breathless despite the small distance he'd run. "Iwa-chan, you're here!"

"Somehow, I still am," Iwaizumi grumbled, nonetheless looking relieved when Oikawa came to see him.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" Oikawa whined out, kneeling next to him to be at eye-level with him.

"Like I chose to get a pneumonia," Iwaizumi grunted at him. "I'm sorry I worried you. I was in the hospital since last weekend."

"The hospital!?" Oikawa panicked slightly, his heart fluttering when Iwaizumi put a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"Calm down, I'll be fine," he grumbled, embarrassed by the show of concern. "I didn't mean to stay in the hospital. I went to the ER on Saturday because I was having trouble breathing, and figured I might as well wait to see a doctor in the relative comfort of the waiting room, but they passed me very quickly, and told me I had a really big pneumonia in one of my lungs, so I had to be hospitalized."

"You're okay now, though?" Oikawa asked, just to be sure.

"Not fully. But I have a prescription for the antibiotics I was taking in the hospital, so I just have to take them for a while longer and I'll be fine."

"You're not gonna get better out here on the streets, though, Iwaizumi," Oikawa remarked sadly. "It's cold, you're not eating well or sleeping well, and your antibiotics won't do anything for you if you relapse."

"Don't you think I already know that?" Iwaizumi bristled, instinctively shutting himself away from Oikawa. "Tell me something new, Oikawa. Of course I know I'm not gonna get better out here, fuck. But I've got no choice. The hospital social worker said the shelters are overflowing because it's cold, and everyone wants to get off the streets, so even if I get a spot at a shelter, I'd have to leave a couple of days later. There's nothing more I can do, okay? So don't fucking patronize me, Oikawa. You don't have to tell me anything. I already know I'm practically a dead man walking."

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa gasped out, his heart clenching at Iwaizumi's desperate words. He sounded like he was giving up, and the first thing that Oikawa had noticed about Iwaizumi was that he hadn't looked like someone who'd bent under the pressure of his circumstances. He didn't like the way Iwaizumi was changing, losing more and more hope with every day he spent outside, freezing and starving and fearing for his life. He didn't want Iwaizumi to look any older, or any more burdened by his problems anymore. Iwaizumi did not deserve the pain. He had done nothing wrong to deserve any kind of pain.

"Go to school, Oikawa," Iwaizumi grunted. "Go live your life. Just go."

"Iwa-chan..."

"Please just leave. You're gonna be late to class," Iwaizumi insisted, looking away from him and burying his nose in the scarf he'd wound tightly around his neck. Oikawa figured their conversation was over, and got up to leave.

"Take care, Iwa-chan," he sighed, taking a few steps away from him.

"Mhm."

He took a few more steps, and yet, just like the day where he decided to make Iwaizumi a part of his routine, he turned back to him, refusing to let him quit being a part of his routine.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Iwa-chan," he told him with all the firmness he could muster in his tone.

Iwaizumi looked at him with wide eyes, uncomprehending and a bit desperate and a bit grateful, and then dropped his face into his knees. Oikawa turned around and headed away quickly, because he did not want to find out if Iwaizumi had begun to cry or not.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

On Tuesday, Oikawa woke up with a strange sense of purpose. As if he knew, from the moment he opened his eyes, that he had to do something important today. And as he washed his face and brushed his teeth, he came to understand what it was that he was subconsciously pushing himself to accomplish today.

"Mom," he called as he strode into the kitchen, going through the usual steps of making Iwaizumi his breakfast. "Can I have a friend over today?"

"You're twenty years old, Tooru. I can't make that decision for you anymore," she laughed. "I'd love to have your friends over, you know that."

"Okay... Cause I have kind of a bizarre request," Oikawa eased into the subject. "My friend is going through a rough patch and needs a place to stay, so I was kind of maybe wondering if he could stay here a few days? Just a few days, though, I promise he won't stay too long-"

"That's fine," his mother cut him off, though she did turn to look at him a bit doubtfully. "What kind of rough patch?"

"I can't say."

"Okay." She sighed. "Okay, he can stay. But I'm trusting you more than I trust him, Tooru. I trust that you know what you're doing, and that you're not associating with anyone, or anything dangerous."

"I promise you, it'll be fine," Oikawa smiled at her, and then turned to continue making his sandwich.

But he did think about it. He hadn't doubted Iwaizumi's genuineness until now, but his mother did have a point. He didn't really know Iwaizumi all that much. He knew about his life and his circumstances, but he didn't really know him as a person.

He had been warm and kind all along, modest and friendly, willing to banter and play along, but... Oikawa had no idea how else he behaved.

The thought of Iwaizumi being two-faced was almost enough for Oikawa to call it off. But for some reason, he didn't. Obviously, Iwaizumi was not all smiles and poignant humour 24/7. There was a part of him that Oikawa had not seen yet. But instead of being afraid of it, he was curious. He wanted to get to know Iwaizumi. He wanted to figure him out.

So he packed his cheese sandwich in a Ziploc, kissed his mother goodbye, yelled at Ayame to stop singing in the shower, and left with a nervous flutter in his heart.

Iwaizumi was there, in the corridor as usual, and looked relieved when Oikawa arrived.

"Morning," Oikawa greeted him, handing him his sandwich.

"Hey," Iwaizumi mumbled, accepting it gratefully. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. You?"

"Fine." Obviously not, but Iwaizumi didn't seem like he'd elaborate. "Hey, I wanted to say sorry for yesterday."

"For what?"

"I was rude to you," Iwaizumi grumbled, as if half-heartedly apologizing. "I'm sorry about that."

"Whoa, back up, Iwa-chan," Oikawa snorted. "You're apologizing to me for being rude? What's that about? You're rude to me all the time, anyway."

"Cause you deserve it, stupid."

"See? Rude," Oikawa laughed, and Iwaizumi blinked, not understanding. "Come on, it's fine. People get frustrated sometimes. The Iwaizumi I know wouldn't apologize for something like that."

"Ah." The young man seemed at a loss of what to say.

"Honestly, you don't have to apologize. We're friends, Iwa-chan. We're in this together, and I'm not backing out cause you were mean to me as usual."

"I just figured I... I had to make things right," Iwaizumi tried to defend himself.

"Nothing to make right, Iwa-chan." Oikawa thought about it for a moment, and had an epiphany. "Were you scared you'd chased me off, or something?"

"No way!" Iwaizumi blushed, and Oikawa grinned, knowing he'd hit the nail on the head.

"I didn't know you cared about me so much."

"I just want your sandwiches, Oikawa, don't get any ideas," Iwaizumi fell back into their pattern of teasing, and Oikawa's heart soared at the sound of the informal tone slipping out of his mouth.

"See, if I hadn't started making you cheese sandwiches, you wouldn't have gotten so attached."

"The only one who looks like a dog around here is you, Shittykawa."

"But I'd be a really cute Pomeranian, Iwa-chan. You'd be a pug."

"You know, if you put a stick into a Pomeranian's ass, you can use them like a floor mop."

"What the fuck even, Iwa-chan."

"I think about these things a lot."

They both laughed, and it suddenly felt like all the tension had melted away between them. Oikawa felt warm. He really, really wanted to kiss Iwaizumi at that moment, when his laughter would probably make his kisses taste even sweeter.

"So hey, I want to take you someplace again today," Oikawa breached the subject slowly.

"Ah. Is it a cafe again?" Iwaizumi asked curiously, grabbing his bag.

"Not now, though," Oikawa stopped him a bit regretfully. "It's not a cafe. I can only take you there this evening, though. Are you free?"

"Yeah," Iwaizumi nodded, relaxing back in his spot. "Usually, I just spend my evenings looking for a place to sleep, or taking naps."

"Okay, good. If you can help it, don't eat dinner tonight," Oikawa told him.

"Why?" Iwaizumi's eyes narrowed. "Are we going out for dinner? No way. I can't make you pay that much for me."

"We're not going to a restaurant, Iwa-chan," Oikawa chuckled. "It's somewhere else."

"Where?"

"You're gonna ruin the surprise!" Oikawa complained. "You'll see, okay? Just wait for me here around 7PM tonight and we'll go together."

"Are you sure?" Iwaizumi asked, looking a bit dubious.

"Absolutely. Wipe that look off your face and look forward to it, okay?" Oikawa assured him. "I gotta go. I'll see you tonight."

"Okay. Have a nice day." Iwaizumi didn't seem convinced, but he didn't push it.

On his way to the platform, he pulled out his cellphone and quickly sent a text to the group conversation he had with Matsukawa and Hanamaki, feeling giddy all of a sudden.

[Oikawa]: I invited iwa-chan to sleep over at my house tonight!

[Hanamaki]: talk abt hitting 3rd base overnight

[Matsukawa]: and your mom agreed?

[Oikawa]: My mom's super chill w the friends i bring over. Remember how she didn't even get mad when makki blocked the toilet that one time?

[Hanamaki]: wow oikawa u must be in the subway cause im not getting ur messages anymore

[Matsukawa]: i'm getting them

[Hanamaki]: no youre not mattsun

[Hanamaki]: just stick with me on this one

[Matsukawa]: srry oikawa im not getting your messages anymore

[Oikawa]: how the fuck did you get mattsun on your side so quickly?

[Oikawa]: did you promise to give him head again, Makki?

[Oikawa]: I thought we discussed the whole bros before hoes issue.

[Hanamaki]: and look where we are rn. somehow were still chillin with u, u ho

[Hanamaki]: also, can't get ur messages anymore

[Matsukawa]: seeya in chem

[Matsukawa]: and fyi, it wasn't head, it was a copy of his physics notes

[Matsukawa]: college priorities man

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

As Oikawa got out of the subway on his way home that evening, he could not help but be a little bit nervous. He wasn't so sure this was a good idea anymore, and even if it was, he wasn't sure how well Iwaizumi would take it. Still, it didn't do him any good to dwell on doubtful thoughts, so he tried to walk down the corridor with an air of self-assurance.

Iwaizumi was there, sitting in his usual spot, thought at this time of the day, it was unusual. He was obviously waiting for Oikawa, and immediately began to grab his stuff as soon as he spotted him.

"Hey," Oikawa greeted him as he got to his side. "How are you doing?"

"Fine. How was your day?" Iwaizumi returned, grabbing his backpack last, and swinging it over his shoulders.

"Long. Makki and Mattsun were being extra annoying today," Oikawa sighed.

"Oh, so you're not the only obnoxious person in your gang?" Iwaizumi smirked at him. "Not sure I wanna meet two more Oikawas on top of you."

"No way. I'm the best and only Oikawa. You only need to worry about me," Oikawa assured him playfully, leading him out of the turnstiles. The atmosphere was much colder up near the surface, and Iwaizumi shivered. Oikawa was acutely aware of the fact that Iwaizumi was wearing three hoodies and two pairs of socks, but he long since seemed to have stopped being bothered by his perpetual state of underdressedness.

Still, he rushed them along to the bus they'd be taking to Oikawa's home, and watched Iwaizumi pay his pass in small change. Still, he knew how important it was for the young man to provide for these small things by himself. It was a matter of pride, and as much as he could afford to pay the small fee for the bus in Iwaizumi's stead, he knew he had to leave some control to him.

"We're going pretty far. Where are you taking me?" Iwaizumi asked once they sat in the back of the packed bus, squished in adjacent seats. Oikawa was glad for the proximity. He liked the way their thighs slid against one another when they moved around to ward off the chill.

"I'm taking you home," Oikawa hummed a bit distractedly, but realized what he'd said and quickly corrected himself. "To my home, I mean. My house. I wanted to have you over."

"Umm..." Iwaizumi seemed to think about it, and then suddenly stood up. "Okay, no. Sorry, but no. I'm gonna get off the bus."

"Don't you dare, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa whined, grabbing his hand. Iwaizumi immediately turned to him, clearly shocked, but didn't pull his hand away. "Come on, stop being so cold. You're always doing this; refusing things I want to give you."

"I-I don't-"

"You're not imposing, get that through your head," Oikawa continued sternly. "I want to do all these things for you. When will you understand that you're not just a stranger to me anymore? You're my friend, Iwaizumi. I don't know if you feel like you're taking advantage of me, or something, or if you think I'm going to blackmail you later on, but I'm not interested in any of that. Why don't you understand? I'm your friend." He tightened his grip on Iwaizumi's hand, and pulled him back. "So sit your ass down on this seat before anyone else takes it, because it's a fifteen-minute ride to my house, and you'll thank me once we start going up the hill. My mom's making dinner tonight, and she won't forgive us if we're late cause you were being stupid and ended up falling over in the bus."

Iwaizumi looked at him for a little while, as if trying to figure him out and see past his appearances to find his true intentions, but Oikawa was clear as day, and he could find no reason to mistrust him. He sat down, and rubbed his face with his cold fingers.

"This feels wrong..." he mumbled softly to himself, and Oikawa simply put a hand on his knee in response.

"It feels absolutely right to me," he added, and they fell silent for the rest of the ride.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

"Mom, we're home!" Oikawa announced as he unlocked the door to let them both in. It was a small walk from the bus stop to his house, and Iwaizumi was definitely shivering, so he tried to hurry along and get him inside. Thankfully, his mother had turned the heating on, and Oikawa could feel his nose warming up as soon as he closed the door.

"Welcome home!" His mother replied from the kitchen.

"Let's go introduce you," Oikawa suggested, kicking off his boots. Iwaizumi looked anxious as he did the same with his dirty sneakers, but nodded anyway.

"Did you end up bringing a friend?" Ayame called as well, poking her head down the staircase to look at Iwaizumi. "Oh, hey, you did!"

"Iwa-chan, this is Ayame, my older sister," Oikawa smiled up at her. "Aya, this is Iwaizumi Hajime."

"Mom said you'd be bringing a friend home, but I thought it would be Makki or Mattsun. I've never seen Iwaizumi before," Aya remarked, descending the stairs to see him from up close. Oikawa felt Iwaizumi stiffening up beside him, and wished he didn't have to be so tense.

"No, Iwa-chan is a new friend of mine. We're in the same, uhh... biology class, and we did a project together," Oikawa made up.

"I see. Well that's nice," Aya turned to Iwaizumi. "Nice to meet you. Hope you're not as annoying as Oikawa's other friends."

"I'd hope not, either," Iwaizumi shook his head, a bit stiffly at that, and looked at her with a bit of apprehension. "Knowing Oikawa, he hangs around people just as annoying as him."

"Hey!"

"I like him!" Aya laughed, sliding past them to get to the kitchen. "You'll always be welcome here, Iwaizumi-kun!"

"T-Thank you," Iwaizumi stuttered out, waiting for her to be gone from sight before sighing out heavily.

"You're doing great," Oikawa encouraged him in a rare moment of seriousness. "Aya loves you already, and my mom is definitely gonna like you, too. Please relax, we're not gonna eat you for dinner."

"I know... it's just... it feels like I'm misplaced here," Iwaizumi mumbled, overcome by insecurity. "This is your house, and your family, and I'm a stranger you met a couple of months ago. We may be friends, but... I don't know..."

"Look," Oikawa sighed out, turning to face Iwaizumi fully. "I'm not going to hold you here. If you really can't do it, you're welcome to leave at any time. But please, give it a shot. I want to do this for you. I wanted to have you over, and I wanted you to meet my family. Try it out, okay? At worst, it's free food and a bed for the night."

"A bed...?"

"You're sleeping over."

"... I guess I should have seen this coming..." Iwaizumi took a deep breath, and forced himself to relax. "Okay. Okay, I'll give it a shot."

"Good. Come on," Oikawa beckoned him forward, and Iwaizumi stepped into the house.

Dinner was kind of awkward at first. Oikawa's mother was thrilled to have a new person over, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi developed their cover story just right, but it somehow still felt wrong to be lying to her and to Aya.

Oikawa was grateful for Iwaizumi's presence, too, because more attention was on him, and he could get away with not eating too much. However, he was acutely aware of Iwaizumi's eyes on him once in a while, and made a show of chewing small pieces of food for extended periods of time whenever he felt like he was being watched.

Soon enough, they finished dinner, and as his mother cleared the table, Oikawa saw Iwaizumi pop a large yellow pill into his mouth.

"Is that the antibiotic?" he asked, not meaning to say it too loudly, but Aya heard him anyway.

"You're sick, Iwaizumi?" she asked, frowning.

"Ah, umm... yeah. I'm sorry, I won't touch too many things if that's a concern," he promised hastily, swallowing the thick pill with a glass of water.

"No, no, don't worry about it. I just don't want to get a cold since finals are coming up and I need to study," Aya waved him off.

"Ah, it's not a cold, though," Iwaizumi assured her. "It's pneumonia, and at this stage, it's not contagious anymore."

"You poor thing," Oikawa's mother clicked her tongue when she heard. "Pneumonia at this age? You have to take good care of yourself."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"See, Iwa-chan is having a bit of trouble right now," Oikawa covered for him. "That's why I want him to stay over a couple of days."

"Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asked sharply, suddenly very afraid of what the brunet would say next. A quick glance at him assured him that no secrets would be spilled yet.

"He's got pneumonia, but the heating in his house is broken, so he can't even stay warm at night. It's no good for his recovery, so I figured I'd let him stay here until it got fixed," Oikawa lied smoothly, almost impressively well.

Iwaizumi felt like he'd had a lot of practice beforehand. Still, he appreciated the cover.

"That's unfortunate," Oikawa's motehr commented. "Not that I'm not glad to have you over, Iwaizumi-kun, but how long do you think you'll be staying?"

"I won't overstay my welcome," Iwaizumi quickly promised. "I really appreciate you letting me stay and I can even help with some of the chores around the house if you need me to. I'll go during the day and come back later at night, too."

"Iwa-chan means that he'll stay until the weekend," Oikawa laughed at how tense Iwaizumi had become.

"That long?" Iwaizumi sucked in a breath, feeling slightly overwhelmed by all this.

"Well, yeah. Your dad can't fix the heating overnight," Oikawa commented, just to add to the story. However, he regretted the comment when Iwaizumi suddenly stiffened.

"Yeah... my dad..." he mumbled, as if speaking to himself. "Umm... you're right. I won't abuse your kindness though."

"You're so modest, Iwaizumi," Aya whistled a bit sarcastically. "I wish Oikawa was as well-mannerred as you are."

"Don't ask too much of him, Ayame," Iwaizumi shook his head. "Thinking of two things at once could fry his brain."

To his surprise, Ayame and Oikawa's mother laughed at his comment, loud enough to cover Oikawa's exclamation of "Mean!".

"Oikawa, he's just like you," his mother chuckled, putting the food in Tupperware dishes. "You two really are alike in so many ways."

And at that, the two of them really did turn to look at one another, and couldn't help but grin at the same time.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

[Oikawa]: [Sent a picture at 20:37]

[Hanamaki]: omg is that your bf?

[Matsukawa]: does your bf know youre already taking secret nudes of him?

[Oikawa]: 1) he's not my boyfriend... yet. 2) it's not a nude!

[Hanamaki]: i can see his elbows on that pic oikawa. whats next, u gonna show us his ankles?

[Matsukawa]: does he even know you're taking pics of him?

[Oikawa]: no lol he's too into reading my bio textbook. Passed him off as a friend from bio class & he says he's gonna try to play his role convincingly

[Hanamaki]: protect this child

[Matsukawa]: pure as day (˘ʃƪ˘)

[Oikawa]: excuse me? Iwa-chan is SO NOT pure (; ･`д･´)

[Oikawa]: you should hear the shit that comes out of his mouth. it's almost as bad as yours, makki.

[Hanamaki]: its hard to get on my level tho. Thats kind of commendable.

[Oikawa]: [Sent a picture at 20:46]

[Matsukawa]: ok can you pls stop spamming pics of your bf

[Oikawa]: but look, he's actually so into it he's drawing charts of human anatomy. I cant do this he's so presh (ﾉ´ｰ`)ﾉ

[Hanamaki]: did u get a dog or a bf? hard to tell bc ur goin cray over everything he does

[Oikawa]: no way. Iwa-chan would be an ugly dog, like a pug, and I dont wanna pug.

[Oikawa]: we've talked about this before

[Matsukawa]: not gonna ask. Im actually gonna go study so bye

[Hanamaki]: dont leave me here with this dweeb mattsun!

[Oikawa]: no worries, Makki. I'm leavin too, got a future boyfriend to look after.

[Hanamaki]: dont forget to use protection honey

[Hanamaki]: now go on and make ur mommy proud

[Oikawa]: my mom is next door and i guarantee you she won't be proud if I bang Iwa-chan tonight.

[Hanamaki]: im sure shell appreciate the grandkids

[Hanamaki]: now go live ur life and leave me alone

Oikawa laughed at the end of their conversation, clicking his phone shut and throwing it on his bed. Iwaizumi looked up from his spot at the desk, where he was intently reading Oikawa's biology textbook, and cocked his head at him.

"Something good happen?" he asked.

"Nah. Makki and Mattsun just being their usual dumb selves," Oikawa waved him off, coming closer and leaning his weight on the office chair. "So. Are you a doctor yet?"

"Not quite," Iwaizumi smiled lightly at him. "This is kind of interesting, though."

"Nerd, reading a textbook for fun," Oikawa teased, sitting on the desk to glance down at the chapter he was reading. "Is that what you wanted to do before all this happened? Be a doctor?"

"No," Iwaizumi shook his head. "In fact, I was in social science, mostly because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I'm going to go back into that field when I return to school, though."

"Any idea where you're headed?"

"Social work," Iwaizumi admitted, and then laughed a bit self-deprecatingly. "I know, it sounds kind of stupid. Nobody ever grows up thinking they wanna be a social worker, huh."

"I think it's nice," Oikawa hummed, smiling at Iwaizumi. "You're a good person, to want to help others going through tough times."

"I guess I wanna return the favour, now that I know what it feels like to be down on your luck, broke, hopeless, and alone," Iwaizumi admitted, shutting the heavy textbook with a sigh.

"But you're not alone," Oikawa whispered, almost like an afterthought. And Iwaizumi glanced up at him thoughtfully, and then gave him a tiny, genuine smile.

"No. I guess I'm not."

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa laid out the futon for Iwaizumi by the foot of his bed, and as the time came closer for them to sleep, he began feeling more and more nervous. He didn't know why he felt that way, at first, but when Iwaizumi went to take a shower (giving Oikawa enough time to throw his clothes in the laundry machine), he realized that it was because the night would reveal Iwaizumi's true nature. He couldn't help but doubt himself at that point, his mother's words coming back to him.

Did he really trust Iwaizumi not to do anything bad while he was asleep? For all he knew, Iwaizumi could steal a ton of shit and run away, never to be seen again. The thought of not being able to trust Iwaizumi was distressing, but he supposed that it was a valid fear.

They each busied themselves somehow for a while, Oikawa spending time jumping between Youtube and Tumblr tabs on his laptop, and Iwaizumi idly reading a few books Oikawa had lying around his room.

"You like volleyball?" Iwaizumi suddenly asked, looking up from a sports magazine he'd grabbed off of one of Oikawa's shelves.

"Yep. Love it. Used to play it in high school, but I wasn't good enough to get on the college team this year." Oikawa didn't mention that he hadn't done well in the tryouts because he hadn't eaten in 36 hours preceding the tryouts. In retrospect, he regretted it, but figured that it didn't matter if he started eating now, since he wouldn't have the opportunity to be an athlete anymore anyway. He could waste away, for all he cared.

"Used to play it, too. It was a long time ago, though," Iwaizumi admitted.

"Oh yeah? What position?" Oikawa asked, brightening a little bit at the prospect of talking about volleyball.

"Wing spiker. You?"

"Setter, and the best one, at that." The best one, and yet he wasn't good enough to get on the college team.

"That's cool," Iwaizumi nodded, genuinely impressed.

"Hey, Iwa-chan, come here," Oikawa invited, patting the bed next to him, and typing away at his keyboard. "Since you like volleyball... come for a second. I wanna show you some really rad plays by my favourite setter. Mattsun and Makki used to play with me, as middle blocker and wing spiker, you know. We were all on the same team."

"Is that where you met?" Iwaizumi asked, hesitating slightly before climbing on the bed with Oikawa to look at the Youtube video he was showing him.

"Mhm. On the very first day on the team together, Mattsun blocked one of my setter dumps and Makki spiked into my face. It was the start of a beautiful friendship," Oikawa snickered, then pointed at the screen. "But look at that, okay? The setter hasn't even set the ball yet and his wing spiker has already jumped. The two of them are really incredible."

"Wow," Iwaizumi admitted, watching the duo on the screen perform the flawless quick. "But from a spiker's point of view, it's mostly the set that makes that such a formidable attack. Here, lemme show you something," he leaned into Oikawa to type in a few words in the search bar, and Oikawa's breath caught in his throat at their proximity.

"What's that?" he asked, just to try and calm his nerves, and looked at the screen.

"Check out this guy's plays. If the set is just right, he spikes down into the front court," Iwaizumi smiled. "He's incredible. Wish I could spike that hard."

"It's all in the wrist," Oikawa chuckled, and looked at Iwaizumi when he spoke about the guy on the screen. It didn't really matter at that point which player spiked or set better than the others. Oikawa just loved gazing at the bright spark of passion in Iwaizumi's eyes.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

[Oikawa]: Iwaizumi likes volleyball omg

[Matsukawa]: put a ring on it

[Hanamaki]: smart move mattsun. no sex before marriage

[Oikawa]: I was thinking. You guys wanna come over for dinner tomorrow? Mom's been asking abt you + youd get to meet my future husband

[Hanamaki]: what are we having?

[Oikawa]: idk man, I'm the last person who'd know that

[Hanamaki]: im gonna text ur mother to ask

[Matsukawa]: one day makki is gonna send the wrong text to ur mom and its gonna be the weirdest shit ever

[Oikawa]: He'd prob do that on purpose bc he's such an asshole (*＾ڡ＾*)

[Hanamaki]: ur mom says leftovers & i fuckin love leftovers night

[Hanamaki]: im in

[Matsukawa]: well. someone's gonna have to keep makki on a leash so i'll come too

[Oikawa]: Bless you Mattsun

[Oikawa]: But pls dont bring your 4-day old mac&cheese

[Oikawa]: I know you have it in your fridge

[Matsukawa]: is 3 day old acceptable?

[Oikawa]: It's probably growing mould by now

[Oikawa]: u nasty

[Hanamaki]: well just pick up smth after school

[Oikawa]: That beats the point of leftovers night.

[Oikawa]: Anyway, I gotta go. My man's ready for bed and I can't keep him waiting. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[Oikawa]: [Sent a picture at 22:46]

[Hanamaki]: son is that a futon!?

[Hanamaki]: mommys so not proud of u

[Oikawa]: Never said we were sharing. Not yet anyway.

[Matsukawa]: hes already asleep anyway. So much for an eventful night

[Oikawa]: Nah he's just so tired he's already dozing off. He's so cute, I can't take it ;~;

[Hanamaki]: ugh ur pining is makin me sick. good night dweeeeeeb

[Matsukawa]: take care oikawa

[Oikawa]: ( ˘ ³˘)

"Are you done texting yet?" Iwaizumi groaned, turning around when Oikawa shut the lights and climbed into bed.

"Yeah. Makki was just being weird again," Oikawa chuckled, setting his alarm on his phone and then putting it on his bedside table. "You'll meet them tomorrow. I finish class a bit earlier than them, so we'll come home, and they'll join us for dinner."

"Do you regularly invite people into your home?" Iwaizumi asked, only half sarcastic.

"Nah. Makki and Mattsun are practically family, though, so sometimes they'll even show up uninvited. My mom doesn't really question it anymore."

"That must be nice," Iwaizumi mumbled, making himself comfortable under the warm covers Oikawa had provided for him.

"What is?"

"Having a family like that," Iwaizumi clarified a bit reluctantly.

"What's your family like, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked softly, as if afraid of breaching the topic, but always as curious. He shifted in his bed and hugged his body pillow, watching as Iwaizumi's expression flickered in the moonlight filtering through the blinds on the window.

"I don't... I don't really have one," Iwaizumi admitted softly. "I ran away. From home, I mean. Haven't been back in months. I don't think my family really cares."

"That's not true..." Oikawa awkwardly replied.

"No, it is. Trust me," Iwaizumi cut him off with an air of finality, clenching his teeth visibly.

Oikawa did not reply, simply because Iwaizumi was still asking him for something big. Instead, he let the silence melt away between them, and finally relaxed when Iwaizumi turned his back to him to sleep.

Still, Oikawa could not find his sleep. Even as he waited, motionless in bed, eyes closed, he could not for the life of him go past the initial drowsiness. Iwaizumi had been dead tired and was probably asleep already, and yet Oikawa could not fall asleep, too nervous about Iwaizumi's presence and intentions.

But then, there was a small noise, and Oikawa's eyes snapped open.

Iwaizumi was still lying at the foot of his bed, buried under the futons, and the strange noise repeated itself once more. Only on the third time did Oikawa realize that it was a small whimper, and immediately, he was on high alert, in case Iwaizumi was having a nightmare.

But even before he could move, Iwaizumi did, curling up tighter on himself, as if trying to make himself small. And then, there was a sniffle, another whimper, a few hitching breaths, and Oikawa realized with growing horror that Iwaizumi was _crying_.

But he did nothing. He let the young man cry until he had no more tears left, and watched as his tense form finally loosened, before stretching back out on the futon. There were a few more sniffles, a shuddering breath, and then nothing else.

And somehow, after secretly witnessing Iwaizumi's genuine, raw display of grief, or relief, Oikawa was able to close his eyes, and trust that he would wake up to the same sight the next morning.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

When he woke up, the futon was kicked open, but Iwaizumi was not there anymore.

Heart thundering a mile a minute, Oikawa jumped out of bed, his breath already heaving as he rushed out of his room.

"Mom!?"

"In the kitchen, sweetie," his mother answered from downstairs, and Oikawa practically fell over trying to run downstairs.

He skidded into the kitchen in semi-panic, just to be faced with weird looks from both his mom, and Iwaizumi, as the two of them washed and dried the dishes together.

"What's up?" Iwaizumi frowned, seeing his dishevelled appearance. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"N-No, I-" Oikawa could not say it. That he'd been afraid that Iwaizumi had disappeared again. That he'd made the wrong choices. "I-I forgot what it was about. But it's okay. It's fine now."

"Are you sure?" his mother asked carefully, handing Iwaizumi a wet plate so that he could dry it and stack it.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Oikawa sighed out in relief, and calmed down. "More importantly, Iwa-chan, what are you doing here?"

"Doing the dishes?" Iwaizumi asked, unsure if the question was a trick or not. "I figured I might need to repay the kindness I'd been shown."

"You're too formal, Iwaizumi-kun," Oikawa's mother rolled her eyes. "It's okay, you're a guest here these next few days. But I won't dissuade you if you absolutely want to help out around the house."

"Sure," Iwaizumi nodded to her, smiling pleasantly when she laughed and praised his good nature.

And Oikawa watched them interact like they'd known one another for years, and his heart was ready to burst at the domestic sight in front of him.

He really, really loved Iwaizumi. So, so much.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

As promised, Makki and Mattsun showed up at their house about an hour after Oikawa had come home with Iwaizumi, and immediately, Iwaizumi noted how the liveliness of the household increased tenfold.

So this was what Oikawa's family truly looked like, he figured as he helped set the table while Hanamaki took the bag of chips from Aya's hands and locked himself in the bathroom with it. Matsukawa was helping Oikawa's mother peel some potatoes for a last-minute dish, making small talk, and both of them observing how loud Hanamaki and Ayame were being. Oikawa himself was setting the table with Iwaizumi, unfolding two new chairs to squeeze around the small table, and was shaking his head at the sudden life that had poured into the house.

They all sat at the table at the same time, with all the leftovers laid out in front of them like a feast table.

"Thank you for the food," Ayame called out for all of them, and immediately began helping herself.

"Except Matsukawa, because his mac and cheese is probably days old," Oikawa pulled his tongue at his friend, who rolled his eyes.

"No, it's actually brand new. I made it before coming here cause I knew your sissy ass wouldn't eat it if it was actually leftover mac and cheese," Matsukawa retorted.

"No fighting over the table, boys," Oikawa's mother chided gently, passing a Tupperware dish to Hanamaki, who helped himself liberally.

Iwaizumi, too, helped himself to the various dishes laid out on the table, and yet kept an eye on Tooru, finding himself a bit uneasy with the way he took so little of everything.

However, with Hanamaki and Matsukawa bombarding him and Ayame with question, it was hard to think of Oikawa during the meal. Instead, Iwaizumi concentrated on keeping his cover up, and on getting his story right.

He did note, however, that Ayame would sometimes drop a few things in Oikawa's plate, and that he would eat those at first. He seemed to be scattering a lot of his food around, too. Iwaizumi didn't like how little food he actually ate.

Over two months, Oikawa had not drastically changed, but there was something definitely bizarre about him. For example, he was absolutely sure that his fingers hadn't been that thin the very first time he'd handed him a sandwich. He would've remembered them if they had been weird.

But those were just small details Iwaizumi noticed about Oikawa. He wasn't even sure if he had any basis for believing what he believed, but he figured it wasn't any of his business.

(But it was. Oikawa was his friend, and his problems should be shared problems on both of them. And yet, that was hypocritical, since Iwaizumi hadn't admitted his problems to Oikawa, either).

After dinner, they all dumped the dishes into the sink, which Oikawa's mother and Iwaizumi volunteered to do the next morning, and went about their own tasks. The four young men retreated to Oikawa's room to chill a bit before Matsukawa and Hanamaki left, and Iwaizumi was surprised by how easily the two other boys just barged into the room and made themselves at home. He figured that this is what it felt like to have a home.

"What should we do?" Hanamaki asked, lying down on Oikawa's bed and flipping through a magazine.

"I've got you covered," Matsukawa immediately answered, opening his bags and pulling out a Wii remote. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh hell no," Oikawa groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Mattsun, last time we played Mario Kart, Makki broke my desk lamp by throwing his remote at it."

"I didn't throw it, it flew out of my hands," Hanamaki defended himself. "Besides, all you had to do was not push me off of Rainbow Road, you huge dick."

"It was wholly worth it, however," Oikawa grinned.

"Therefore, we should do it again," Matsukawa concluded, pulling out the rest of his equipment. "I'm gonna set the game up. In the meantime, go take a shower, Oikawa."

"Um, excuse me?" Oikawa gasped, affronted. "Are you telling me I smell bad?"

"Yes, absolutely," Hanamaki replied instead without an ounce of remorse. "Now go shower."

"I'll shower when you guys are gone," Oikawa insisted. "Let's just play the damn game."

"I'm gonna take a while to set up the other remotes, though. Just go take a shower, Oikawa," Matsukawa sighed.

"Stop asking questions, Oikawa, you stink!" Hanamaki groaned out.

"Oh my god," Oikawa chuckled, finally heading for his wardrobe and picking out some pyjamas. "You're gonna talk to Iwa-chan while I'm gone, isn't that right?"

Upon hearing his name, Iwaizumi whipped around from where he sat at the desk, and worriedly glanced at Oikawa's friends, who were looking straight at him.

"Well, duh."

"You could've been less obvious about it, at least," Oikawa sighed, grabbing his bath towel as well. "Alright, I'll take ten minutes. Iwa-chan, don't let these huge nerds intimidate you."

"You're harming our credibility here, Oikawa," Matsukawa sighed. "Go away."

Laughing, Oikawa did leave.

That left Iwaizumi with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who just looked at him for a few seconds in complete silence. Then, Hanamaki got up, and slowly made his way to the door, never losing eye contact, before closing it and locking it.

Iwaizumi's heart flipped in his chest, and his breath hitched as he subtly palpated his pocket for the Swiss knife he carried everywhere with him.

Thankfully, Matsukawa erupted in snorting laughter, breaking the tense silence.

"Oh my god, Hanamaki, unlock the door. You actually scared him."

"Oh shit, sorry," Hanamaki laughed, as if genuinely amused, and unlocked the door, leaving it closed nonetheless. "Here. It's open. Don't worry about it."

"Mhm," Iwaizumi nodded, letting his hand fall away from the knife.

"Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt you or anything," Matsukawa assured him. "We're just like... screening you. We screen all of Oikawa's friends."

"Are you his parents or something?" Iwaizumi raised his eyebrows at them.

"Yup. Proud mom and proud dad," Hanamaki claimed, pointed at himself and at Matsukawa. "But really, Oikawa's a good kid, but people take advantage of him cause he's so naive, so we just wanna make sure."

"I'm not gonna take advantage of him," Iwaizumi mumbled, though he had been receiving food, money, and accommodations from Oikawa for a while now. In a sense, he was taking advantage of him. "We're just in the same biology class, and-"

"Okay, yeah, stop," Matsukawa put a hand up at him. "Forgot to mention. We know about the whole 'hobo' business, so you can be honest with us."

"Oh... Okay," Iwaizumi replied a bit awkwardly, not being able to help feeling judged by the two of them.

"No worries, bro. Everyone goes through a rough patch, though not everyone, well... ends up on the streets because of it," Hanamaki frowned. "And if Oikawa trusts you, then we do, too."

"I'm not gonna harm him," Iwaizumi assured them, not sure what he was supposed to say. "He's been nothing but kind to me, perhaps a bit too kind, and sure, he's really obnoxious sometimes, but he is my friend, and I'm not gonna take him for granted."

"Mad gay, bro," Hanamaki sighed, as if exasperated, and Iwaizumi's cheeks heated up a little bit.

He wouldn't go as far as to call it a crush. Obviously, he'd be thankful of Oikawa after all he'd done for him, and that was the problem. He didn't know if he liked Oikawa, or if he was just incredibly grateful for his help.

"Okay, so. Just wanted to be sure," Matsukawa put them back on topic, working on connecting the remotes to the Wii by the TV. "You don't do drugs or anything, right?"

"No, of course not. Drugs are fucking expensive," Iwaizumi frowned at them.

"Very true." Hanamaki nodded. "Just asking cause Oikawa said you slept with druggies, so you might be getting freebies."

"I don't sleep with them like that!" Iwaizumi blushed at that, embarrassed.

"Yeah, we know that, too. Just teasing," Hanamaki snorted. "Anyway. In order to be a part of the Oikawa Protection Squad, you have to solemnly swear you are gonna take care of Oikawa, okay?"

"I... I swear, I guess." Iwaizumi hadn't even signed up for this, but he figured he didn't mind it.

"Also, bonus points if you can be nice to him twenty percent of the time. But not more than that, or he might get spoiled," Hanamaki warned him with a smirk.

"No worries there," Iwaizumi assured him. "It's pretty hard to be nice to him when he's being, well... himself."

"Spoken like a true protection squad member," Hanamaki snickered, waving him over. "Now get over here and get set up for the game. Generally, we wouldn't pick Yoshi, cause Oikawa would get hella mad at us if we did, but I don't think he'd get mad at you. So pick Yoshi."

"Alright, I guess," Iwaizumi nodded, picking up his remote and picking the green dinosaur as his character. Still, as Hanamaki and Matsukawa fought over who got to pick Waluigi, he couldn't help but feel like there was something being left unsaid.

He was part of the Oikawa Protection Squad now. He should get some answers, too.

"Can I ask you a question?" he began again, grabbing their attention. "It's about Oikawa."

"Yes, his hair is naturally like that. You'll see when it dries after he comes back. Fucking unfair, I know," Hanamaki sighed.

"Well, no, that's not really what I wanted to ask," Iwaizumi winced. "It's... I wanted to know... I mean, it's just a thought, but..."

The two other boys seemed to know where he was going, and fell silent until he found the words. That worried Iwaizumi even more.

"I just..." he huffed out, not sure how to put it. "He doesn't eat a lot, does he?"

"What makes you say that?" Matsukawa asked carefully without giving him an answer.

"Well, I see him during meals. He makes it look like he's eating, but he doesn't eat much. He never has snacks in the day, either. He says he has breakfast at home, but this morning, he just took a sandwich with him, and I didn't see him touch it the whole time until we split in the subway station. I... I don't know if I'm imagining it, but I think he's also lost weight in the past couple of months."

Neither of them answered him, but looked at him soberly.

"Like... I don't wanna judge, or jump to conclusions, but I'm worried, and..." Iwaizumi swallowed heavily, considering his next words carefully. "... Is Oikawa anorexic...?"

"Well, that's something you'll have to ask him, not us," Hanamaki shrugged. "We're not going to tell his story for him. You're a good guy with a good head on your shoulders, so if you ask, he might give you the answer you want."

"Sorry," Iwaizumi blushed, looking away. "I just... I was concerned a bit..."

"Good thing you were," Matsukawa rolled his eyes. "I think everyone's noticed he's lost weight, but it's his story to tell, again. So if he chooses to tell you, good for you. But we're not his secretaries, and we're not gonna speak for him."

"Okay. Fair enough." Iwaizumi swallowed dryly. "Thank you. For answering my question, and... and for being such good friends to Oikawa."

"Well, good thing he pays us, am I right?" Hanamaki grinned widely, and then protested when Matsukawa grabbed his remote to get his selection off of Waluigi. "Cheater!"

"Talk shit, get hit," Matsukawa simply replied, picking Waluigi as his character, and then spending the next two minutes rolling around with Hanamaki, who was trying to grab his remote to change the character selection.

Soon enough, a knock came at the door.

"Oi, you done bullying Iwa-chan? I'm coming in to kick ass and play Mario Kart, and I'm all out of ass."

"No, Iwaizumi is still right where you left him," Hanamaki grinned from where he was pinned under Matsukawa, and Iwaizumi spluttered, becoming beet red at the innuendo. However, he couldn't compose himself quickly enough, so when Oikawa entered, all he saw was Hanamaki and Matsukawa wrestling on the floor, and Iwaizumi watching them, his face all red.

"Okay," he breathed out through his nose as if exasperated already. "I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see all of this."

"Come onnnn, Mattsun, you're so childish!" Hanamaki continued nonetheless, succeeding in topping Matsukawa before the dark-haired boy flipped him over again with a resounding cry of victory.

"What are you guys fighting about?" Oikawa asked, hanging up his towel a wall hook. "Don't tell me you're fighting over how pretty I am again."

"Obviously," Matsukawa snorted. "I gave you a 1/10, and Hanamaki gave you a 2/10. I think he's being generous."

"Why do you always do this to me?" Oikawa groaned, moving over to sit next to Iwaizumi on the cushions they laid out for their Mario Kart party. "And you, Iwa-chan? What score did you give me?"

"He was torn between a 1 and a 0, so he gave you both on 10," Hanamaki snickered, effectively making the blood rush back to Iwaizumi's face.

"I-I didn't-"

"That's sweet of you, Iwa-chan. It's good to know one person appreciates me around here," Oikawa hummed, and then picked up his remote to go pick his character.

His eyes fell on Yoshi, who had already been claimed, and narrowed.

"I take it back!" he screeched, gasping dramatically at Iwaizumi. "You don't appreciate me, you horrible Yoshi-napper!"

"Yoshi-napper?" Iwaizumi deadpanned.

"You kidnapped my Yoshi from me, give it back!" Oikawa cried out, and then without warning, launched himself at Iwaizumi. "Give it back, give it back!"

"No way!" Iwaizumi cried out, trying to keep his remote out of Oikawa's reach even as Oikawa climbed all over him trying to grab it.

The four of them rolled around on the floor for a while in that fashion, Matsukawa and Iwaizumi exchanging remotes at some point just to throw the other two off, and somehow, they all ended up in a large pile, loudly trying to wrestle any remote out of anyone's hands.

"Keep it down in here, I'm trying to study!" Aya yelled from the hallway, poking her head in to glare at all four of them as they rolled on the floor. They all stopped for a moment to look up at her in semi-surprise, and she pursed her lips at them in the most intense deadpan they'd ever seen in their lives. "Mom!" she finally called, turning back to the hallway. "Tooru's having an orgy with his friends again!"

"Tell them to use protection and clean up afterwards!" Oikawa's mother called back almost immediately from downstairs, and the four boys snorted at how casual she was.

"Okay, Aya, please leave us to our unholy activities and close the door before you go," Oikawa grinned sheepishly at her.

"You're kicking me out? Way rude," she rolled her eyes, but grabbed the door handle anyway.

"It's a sausage fest here, darling. Sorry about that," Hanamaki hummed self-satisfactorily.

"My dick's bigger than all of yours combined," she blew them a raspberry, and then slammed the door shut.

The whole situation was just so ridiculous that Iwaizumi could not help it. He began to laugh, just as a chuckle at first, but then as a louder, fuller laugh that dragged everyone else into his mirth.

And Oikawa's heart swelled when he saw him act so carefree, because god knew Iwaizumi Hajime deserved only the best of what he could get.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa and Iwaizumi slept well that night as well, falling into an easy routine of waking up, doing chores, going out in the day, meeting up to go home at night, having dinner, and retiring to Oikawa's room together. It felt like a routine they could continue with during their whole lives, but surely enough, Iwaizumi's pill bottle was making less noise when he shook it, and Oikawa was acutely aware that his excuse to keep Iwaizumi off the streets and in his house was running out of time. Tomorrow, Friday, would be Iwaizumi's last day with them, and then he'd be back to freezing on the streets.

He glanced at Iwaizumi from the corner of his eye, smiling at how endearing the other young man was, sitting at his desk, enraptured with yet another volleyball magazine. His skin had regained it's healthy, slightly tanned shade, and Oikawa could tell how much good it had done for him to spent three days off the streets. He didn't have the heart to send him back out there in the dead of winter and ruin all this progress.

"Hey, Oikawa," Iwaizumi asked him from where he sat, snapping him out of his trance. "Do you think I could play a video game?" he asked almost shyly, as if embarrassed for asking.

"Sure. Everything I've got is lined up in the bookshelf," Oikawa nodded, grabbing his laptop instead to maybe get some progress done on his assignments.

"Thanks," Iwaizumi nodded, heading for the bookshelf a bit giddily to pick out the game he wanted to play. Oikawa watched him look pensively through the collection of games he had, and his heart couldn't help but ache at how much he loved Iwaizumi and his tiny quirks and flaws and mannerisms and everything else.

Iwaizumi settled on playing Super Mario Galaxy, which bode well for Oikawa, because the game generally had a very soothing soundtrack that wouldn't distract him from studying. That's how they entertained themselves for the next hour, Oikawa on his bed and Iwaizumi on the ground, both of them busy with their own things, and yet co-existing in the same space in total harmony.

"Hey, can you do me a favour?" Iwaizumi asked at some point without looking at Oikawa. "Can you check on the internet real quick what I'm supposed to do to beat this boss?"

"Gimme a second," Oikawa hummed and pulled up a walkthrough for him, reading him out the instructions.

"Thanks," Iwaizumi nodded to him, and then dutifully returned to his game with the utmost concentration.

That was the extent of their communication for the first hour.

Soon enough, Oikawa's mom popped her head in to wish them a good night as she headed to bed, and they both wished her the same from their respective places. Quickly checking the time proved that it was 10:30PM, and so Oikawa decided that he'd leave the studying at that for the day.

Exasperated, he fell back on his bed, amongst the papers surrounding him, and groaned.

"Tired?" Iwaizumi asked softly, turning his game off and putting the remote away.

"It's been a long day. I hate writing lab reports," Oikawa complained, watching him clean up, and then head towards him. His heart skipped a beat when Iwaizumi sat down on the bed, and scooting until he could see his screen.

"What is it about?" Iwaizumi asked, trying to figure out the symbols on the page.

"Physics," Oikawa answered, sitting back up, almost bumping shoulders with Iwaizumi. "It's so long, I can't do it anymore."

"Take a break," Iwaizumi advised him. "It's a bit late, so leave the rest to tomorrow."

"You're right. I'm just gonna go watch an episode of anime before bed. Wanna watch with me?" he offered, opening a new tab.

"What is it?"

"One punch man. It's pretty funny," Oikawa answered, loading the episode he wanted to watch, and clearing the papers around him so that he and Iwaizumi could lean against the wall and watch the screen together.

"I hope it's not a shoujo," Iwaizumi groaned jokingly.

"No way, Iwa-chan. You'd be way too happy if it was," Oikawa stuck a tongue out at him. "But there's a pretty boy in this one, too, so don't get sad."

"Just start the damn thing, or we'll fall asleep halfway through it," Iwaizumi grumbled, and Oikawa started the episode, smiling about the strangely familiar image Iwaizumi had projected in his mind's eye.

Falling asleep on Iwaizumi. That sounds nice.

They watched the episode together, commenting here and there about some funny happenings, but mostly just enjoying one another's company. And, just as Iwaizumi predicted, Oikawa felt himself get drowsy halfway through it. He tried to stay awake, if only to prove Iwaizumi wrong (and see the ending to the episode), but soon, he was fighting a losing battle, which he was all too happy to give up.

His head drooped slightly, and then he couldn't help but put it against Iwaizumi's shoulder to get some rest.

"Hmm?" Iwaizumi cocked his head to the side, too interested by the anime to notice how Oikawa had slowly been falling asleep next to him. Seeing him put his head on his shoulder, though, he let out a small huff of laughter, and patted his head.

"M'not a dog, Iwa-chan," Oikawa mumbled, half-asleep, but leaned into his touch anyway.

"Yes you are," Iwaizumi teased in a low voice. "You're a tiny, fluffy Pomeranian."

"Hmm... Well, I guess I am fluffy..." Oikawa yawned loudly, and then sank further against Iwaizumi.

"Okay, I'm gonna turn this off," he chuckled, taking the laptop away from Oikawa to save all of his hard work, and shut it down. At the same time, Oikawa leaned down, and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi's midsection, leaning his head against his side.

"M'tired..." the brunet mumbled the obvious, and Iwaizumi laughed, somehow not minding how close they were. He thought that Oikawa's touch would be awkward, but here he was, hugging his midsection, and Iwaizumi felt nothing but exhilaration.

"I know. Here," he turned the laptop off and closed it, dropping it on the bed. "Let's get you in bed."

"Carry me," Oikawa demanded, not very demanding in this state.

"No way, lazy ass. Get in yourself," Iwaizumi chuckled, helping Oikawa let go of him and sit back up to grab the covers, and open them. He crawled to get over them, and then sat back down, without lying down just yet.

"Iwa-chan, come here," he suddenly demanded, and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, scooting closer.

"What is it? You're dead tired, so just go to bed," he insisted. "I'll even tuck you in, you big baby."

"Shh, Iwa-chan. Shh," Oikawa made a hushing motion with his finger on his lips, and then crawled back towards him. "Don't ruin the moment by opening your big, dirty mouth."

"What moment?" Iwaizumi frowned, flinching when Oikawa took his hands, and then leveraged himself over his lap to drop into it. His arms immediately encircled his shoulders when Oikawa swayed a bit. "Oikawa? What are you doing?"

"Hugging you, you idiot," Oikawa hummed sleepily, wrapping both his arms and his legs around Iwaizumi's sitting form. "I just... I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?" Iwaizumi asked, totally confused, but still holding onto him so they wouldn't fall over. "I did nothing at all for you. I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"No, I wanna thank you for existing," Oikawa shook his head. "It's been hard for you, and you've gone through a lot. You could have stopped at any time, but you're still here, and you still exist, and you still make me so, so happy."

"Oikawa...? What are you saying...?"

"You wanted a shoujo, so here's a shoujo for you," Oikawa lifted his head, ending up nose-to-nose with a deeply blushing Iwaizumi. "I like you, Iwaizumi-kun. Will you return my affection?"

And it all felt ridiculous. In the dark of the night, these two young men, both with their own sets of problems, had found solace within the expanse of one another's arms. And not just any embrace, but Oikawa was bear-hugging Iwaizumi like a panda clinging to its bamboo shoots, and confessing to him in the sleepiest drawl Iwaizumi had ever heard from him.

It was ridiculous, and so Iwaizumi laughed.

He laughed, and it wasn't mocking Oikawa. Even in his sleepy state, the brunet could tell, and so he laughed, too, and the two of them shared the strangely intimate moment together, shoulders shaking with joy and their noses brushing here and there.

And then, Iwaizumi's hands were on Oikawa's bony cheeks, and he'd leaned in to kiss him.

When they parted, the laughter returned, and between short, sweet kisses, they laughed as if they had not a care in the world. Not money, not weight, not food, not safe places to sleep, not lab reports, and certainly not loneliness. There was not a thing in the world that could make them as breathless as the fluttering, innocent little kisses they left on one another's lips at first, and then on their noses, their cheeks, their eyelids, their foreheads, their ears, and their necks, and then back to their lips for the grand finale.

"I love you," Oikawa mouthed against Iwaizumi's lips, and Iwaizumi gave him one last, fiercely sweet kiss before pulling away.

"There's no way I can say anything contrary to that, Shittykawa," he smiled, and brushed some hair out of Oikawa's face. "You're tired, though, so we should go to sleep. Tomorrow's a new day."

"Hmm, alright," Oikawa nodded, letting Iwaizumi guide him down until his head met the pillow. "You're sleeping, too, right?"

"Yeah," Iwaizumi nodded, getting off the bed to tuck him in when Oikawa grabbed his wrist.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm tucking you in because it's cold at night," Iwaizumi answered matter-of-factly. "What's it look like?"

"It looks to me like you're not going to bed," Oikawa huffed.

"I'm gonna go right after I'm done tucking you in."

"You're thicker than a brick wall, Iwa-chan," Oikawa rolled his eyes. "Get in my bed. Right now. We're sleeping together tonight."

"W-Whoa!" The blush returned to Iwaizumi's face. "T-This is a bit too sudden, though. I-I'm not sure I-"

"Do I look like I'm awake enough to give you a blowjob, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa glared at him. "I mean sleep in the dictionary sense of the word. Not the urban dictionary sense."

"W-Well, I mean..."

"Look, if I tried sucking your dick, I'd probably fall asleep and choke on it, so y'know what? Get in here before I change my mind, you huge nerd," Oikawa invited him, throwing the covers open again."

And this time, Iwaizumi said nothing, and slid in.

"You're so pushy," he rolled his eyes, and welcomed Oikawa's smaller body into his arms.

"And you're comfy," Oikawa replied, nuzzling in the crook of his neck. "Maybe you should be the Pomeranian of this relationship."

A relationship. That sounded nice to both of them, and Iwaizumi's arms tightened around Oikawa. He had a lot of problems and insecurities, and a relationship was definitely the least of his worries right now, but... it really did feel too wonderful to have Oikawa in his arms, no matter how much his brain warned him against it. He was too blissful to care, and he couldn't remember the last time he was so happy.

The only moment he could think of in his entire life was when Oikawa Tooru stopped for the first time in the corridor of the subway to give him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Hmm," Iwaizumi smiled, kissing the top of Tooru's head and thanking every god he could think of for being given this blessing. "Comparing you to a pug would be overestimating your looks, though."

"You're always so rude to me, Iwa-chan."

"Only when you make it easy, Tooru."

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Waking up in Iwaizumi's arms felt like a dream, but the morning chill was nipping at his nose, so Oikawa knew he was awake. All the better. He took a moment to enjoy the peaceful expression on Iwaizumi's sleeping face, and then tried to grab his phone from the nightstand as subtly as he could. Awkwardly maneuvering around as not to disturb Iwaizumi, he managed to snap a diagonal picture of him from above, and appreciated the stillness in the picture for a second before sending it on the group conversation.

[Oikawa]: [Sent a picture at 06:15]

[Oikawa]: Morning, losers. Did you wake up to smth like this this morning? (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

Nobody replied to him, so he figured they were both still asleep, and instead tried to wriggle out of Iwaizumi's arms to begin his day. Predictably, as soon as he broke away, Iwaizumi stirred, and then woke up to look at him.

"Mornin'," he rasped softly, sitting up as well.

"Morning. Sleep well?" Oikawa asked, getting out of bed and immediately regretting his decision when the cold chill took him by surprise.

"Yeah." Iwaizumi nodded, taking a deep breath and stretching before getting out of bed as well.

"It's your last day here today," Oikawa remarked, if not a bit sadly. "I wish you didn't have to go."

"I can't mooch off of you any longer than this," Iwaizumi nodded, pulling some clothes out of his backpack, and pulling his pyjamas off quickly to get changed. "We'll still meet in the subway every day."

"So nothing has changed, huh?" Oikawa sighed sadly, picking out his clothes as well. "You're gonna go back to the streets again, and... well..."

"I'll be fine," Iwaizumi grunted, not sure if he meant it anymore. "I've made it this far."

"It's too cold outside, though," Oikawa looked at him pleadingly, though he did not have a solution either.

"I know. I'll figure something out."

"When are you going to fix things for good?" Oikawa asked him suddenly. "It... It hurts me to see you freezing and starving. I don't want you to suffer anymore. Do you have a plan to fix things?"

"Well..." Iwaizumi bit his lip. "Vaguely. Nothing really consolidated just yet."

"Please think of something soon," Oikawa begged him, heading towards the bathroom. "We're gonna hit record lows this year."

And that got Iwaizumi thinking, but he didn't have an opportunity to answer before Oikawa had left.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

[Matsukawa]: [Sent a picture at 06:43]

[Matsukawa]: i beg to differ

[Oikawa]: OMG!? Makki is in your bed!? ∑(;°Д°)

[Matsukawa]: u thought youre the only one gettin some?

[Oikawa]: but we didnt even fuck! Just shared the bed!

[Oikawa]: You guys did the nasty!? |✿´・ლ・`|

[Hanamaki]: wtf ur so excited

[Hanamaki]: mattsun literally saw ur pic and yelled at me to get my ass into his bed for a pic

[Oikawa]: y u gotta

[Oikawa]: i had hope that you two would not end your lives as bitter old men but wtv

[Matsukawa]: ok but can we also talk about the fact that oikawa made iwa sleep in his bed

[Matsukawa]: tonight they gon fuck

[Hanamaki]: fo sho

[Oikawa]: i'm out

[Matsukawa]: so avoidant of the truth. Wonder why.

[Hanamaki]: let him go on his journey of self discovery

[Hanamaki]: our son is learning to find his place in the world

[Matsukawa]: aight and while he does that, come to the kitchen

[Matsukawa]: i made too many poptarts again

[Hanamaki]: ur a man after my own heart mattsun

[Hanamaki]: no homo

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Iwaizumi had thought of it all day, stuck in his spot in the corridor for a long while until he decided to go someplace warmer. He wondered what he even wanted to do at this point. He definitely would need more stable employment than a few hours every weekend, but he didn't know where to begin looking. If he was to have an actual job, he'd also have to have access to a place where he could store his uniform, and he'd have to open a bank account and be wary of their fees, and he'd definitely have to find a stable place to sleep. He'd have to pay a monthly subway pass, on top of it all, and just to get started, he'd have to save up for several more weeks. Plus, the temperatures were absolutely freezing now, and no matter how many hoodies he layered, he was still frozen stiff in five minutes when he stepped outside. He wouldn't be able to work someplace not readily accessible by the subway. And then, to get his CV out to several places that were hiring, he'd have to do a lot of travelling, which meant time lost gathering small change, and also an exposure to the elements.

All of it was just too hard on him, and Iwaizumi wondered for a second if it was worth it, even. But Oikawa was counting on him to get his shit together. From the very first day, from the very first sandwich, he'd pushed Iwaizumi to try and ameliorate his circumstances.

Now, if only Oikawa did the same for himself.

He wondered how he should breach the topic. Makki and Mattsun had been right when they'd said that it wasn't their story to tell, but Iwaizumi had no idea how to ask him about it. He figured he should lead up to it, but he had no idea how.

Usually, they just grabbed a sandwich each and took it with them on the subway, but Iwaizumi never saw Oikawa touch any of his. This time, as they got off the bus at the subway station, Iwaizumi carefully breached the topic.

"Aren't you gonna eat breakfast?" he motioned to Oikawa's sandwich, biting into his to encourage him a bit.

"Not super hungry right now," Oikawa shook his head. "You know how the appetite is in the morning."

"Have a bite. Maybe it'll get your system going," he insisted softly.

"No, Iwa-chan," Oikawa shook his head. "I'll eat it on the subway."

"You always say that, but I have never seen you eat breakfast," Iwaizumi commented.

"I just like to eat it later on in the morning, okay? Drop it, Iwa-chan," Oikawa huffed, his grip tightening on the sandwich in his hand.

"Okay..." Iwaizumi sighed, slowing as they reached the part where they would split up. "Have a nice day, okay?"

"Mhm," Oikawa nodded, looking a bit pensive. "Take care of yourself, too."

And he headed off, leaving Iwaizumi behind. Iwaizumi watched him go, like he always did, and wondered why this morning felt different. There was something that had bloomed between them. Not just something innocent, but also something ugly that had reared its head all of a sudden as they broke down the barriers around one another.

Perhaps they never should have gotten involved. And it was too late to turn back.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

That evening, when they came home together for the last time, Oikawa was surprised when he found that nobody was home. A quick text to Aya informed him that she'd gone out to party and would be back on Saturday afternoon, and when they passed by Oikawa's mom's room, they read the little post-it note on the door that said that she'd gone out dancing and would return late.

"It's weird to see your house so quiet," Iwaizumi commented, and yet all that Oikawa could think of was that morning's conversation with his friends. Had Makki texted his mom to ask her to leave the house? No, he wouldn't go that far. Was it just a coincidence? Probably.

Looking at Iwaizumi in all his rugged glory gave Oikawa ideas, but being alone with Iwaizumi also meant that he was his centre of attention. And that was problematic in some ways.

"What do you want for dinner?" Iwaizumi asked once they dropped their bags in Oikawa's room. "I'm not a terrible cook, so I can make something quick for us."

"Not hungry. Matsukawa brought doughnuts to calculus and I was stupid enough to eat two of them. It spoiled my appetite," Oikawa spat out the lie easily.

"Are you sure?" Iwaizumi looked doubtful again. "Maybe just some soup..."

"Iwa-chan, I'm not hungry." And that was true. He was never hungry anymore. He didn't need to eat, and he didn't want to eat. He'd lost a lot of weight, and he liked it this way. Sure, he got dizzy often, and felt like he didn't get half the sleep he needed, but this was his routine, and he was too scared to change it now.

"Fine, fine." It didn't sound like it was fine to Iwaizumi, but he didn't pursue it. "Do you have any homework?"

"It's Friday night, Iwa-chan. Live a little. I'm not gonna do my homework," Oikawa snickered. "Do you want to watch a movie, maybe? I don't have any popcorn, but it'll be fun anyway."

And so they ended up sitting on the floor together, having made a nest from Iwaizumi's futon, the cushions, and both of their blankets, and they curled up to watch their movie. It was something about aliens, a topic that Iwaizumi wasn't particularly interested in, but that Oikawa seemed to adore to pieces. And honestly, watching his eyes light up as he described the movie to Iwaizumi was what convinced him ultimately that they should watch it.

They didn't watch too much of it, and both of them knew it would end up that way. All too quickly, Oikawa had leaned into Iwaizumi in a way that suggested that he wanted to be held, and Iwaizumi obliged by pulling him into his lap. They watched a few more minutes of the movie like that, but soon enough, Oikawa was rubbing Iwaizumi's hands, which were in his lap, and began to play with his fingers.

"Sit still," Iwaizumi grunted, wondering what Oikawa was trying to accomplish, and only got a glare from Oikawa in response.

"So unromantic, Iwa-chan. Take the hint."

"You're literally rubbing my hands, and I have no idea what it is you're trying to do."

"You're hopeless," Oikawa rolled his eyes, and then turned himself around in Iwaizumi's lap so that he was facing him. "Have you never seen the cliché of people watching a movie and ending up snogging instead?"

"Well, I guess I should have known that you were one for clichés," Iwaizumi shrugged, and put his hands on Oikawa's (bony) hips to pull him closer. "Alright. Let's do it."

"Stop talking, Iwa-chan, you're soooo bad at this," Oikawa complained with a small laugh, and leaned in to kiss Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi returned the kiss eagerly, rubbing circles into Oikawa's hips before pulling him a bit closer. Oikawa was all too happy to oblige, putting his arms around Iwaizumi to draw him closer as well until their chests were flush together.

Their little kisses began to deepen and their hands began to roam. Their lips moved against one another with soft, wet smacks when they briefly pulled away, and Oikawa tangled his hands in Iwaizumi's hair to tilt his head back so that when he rose on his knees, he could kiss him from above. In response, Iwaizumi put his hands on Oikawa's ass and pulled him back against him, eliciting a small whimper against his lips when Oikawa's pelvis brushed against Iwaizumi's abdomen.

"Iwaizumi," Oikawa breathed out almost reverently, and they shared a few languid kisses in the same position before Iwaizumi broke away to latch onto Oikawa's neck instead. "Iwa-cha-ahn!"

"Sorry, did that hurt?" Iwaizumi asked softly, but really unapologetically, licking the place where he'd left a hickey to soothe the sting of the bite.

"I want more of those," Oikawa breathed out, closing his eyes as Iwaizumi got to work on the other side of his neck, leaving wet kisses as he transitioned from one side to the other. Still tugging softly on Iwaizumi's dark hair, Oikawa wished he could rival the work of Iwaizumi's hands, which were now running up and down his back, leaving trails of fire in their wake.

He moaned softly a few times to encourage Iwaizumi to keep doing what he was doing, and let out a particularly loud one when Iwaizumi kissed behind his ear, then trailing kisses down his jaw, and then back to his lips to swallow up his cries.

"You're so vocal," he hummed, their proximity allowing Oikawa to feel the vibrations of his voice against his chest. "Do that again."

"Do what again?" Oikawa challenged, the smirk falling off his face as soon as Iwaizumi kissed behind his ear again. He let out a gasp first, and then a high-pitched whine, and when Iwaizumi drew back to smirk at him, he blushed.

"That. I like hearing you when you're coming undone," Iwaizumi chuckled, and kissed his neck again, getting another whine from him.

"Okay, I take it back, Iwa-chan. Speak as much as you want," Oikawa gasped, moaning softly again when Iwaizumi squeezed his ass. "You could literally recite the recipe for chocolate cake right now and I would still be turned on."

"Half a cup of sugar, two cups of flour-"

"Don't actually do it, you egg," Oikawa laughed, and at his choice of words, Iwaizumi laughed, too.

"Come. Your legs must be hurting, so let's lay you down," Iwaizumi suggested, supporting his back as he pushed him down against the cushions and blankets.

"Such a gentleman," Oikawa hummed, absolutely thrilled, and offered his neck to Iwaizumi so that he could work on it again. Both of them were visibly half-hard already, but neither of them knew where they were going. They didn't intend for this to end in either of them coming, but it seemed like they were headed there at this rate.

Iwaizumi knelt over Oikawa, bending down to kiss his neck again and let his hands roam over his clothed chest. In contrast, Oikawa immediately slipped his hands under Iwaizumi's shirt, and carefully mapped out his flat abdomen and his hard chest with the pads of his fingers, enjoying the warmth of his skin under his fingertips.

"Mmm," Oikawa whined softly, tugging on Iwaizumi's shirt. "Take this off please, it's in the way."

"Here," Iwaizumi offered, drawing back to sit on top of Oikawa's groin as he grabbed the shirt and threw it over his head in one swift movement. With that out of the way, he leaned back down and gladly let Oikawa's hands roam across his shoulders, up his neck, down his spine and to his ass, instead getting busy with kissing him as deeply as they could both manage without gasping for air. His hands travelled up and down Oikawa's sides, and he wanted to take the next step, too.

However, in a moment of clarity when they broke away to breathe, he realized that he may not like what he saw if he did.

But he loved Tooru. He really did. So it should not matter to him what he looked like.

With that thought in mind, he flipped them over, drawing a surprised squawk from Oikawa as he found himself on top, and then sat up until Oikawa was back to straddling him.

"Come here," he rasped out, tilting Oikawa's chin to kiss him softly, rubbing circles on his thin cheeks.

"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked softly, noticing that something had changed, but played along, enjoying the feeling of Iwaizumi entwined so intimately with him.

They kissed softly for a few seconds, their lips breaking away with a pop every time they drew back, and after a while, they picked up where they left off, and their kisses went deeper. Oikawa returned to mapping out Iwaizumi's body with his touch, and this time, Iwaizumi found it in himself to push his hands under Oikawa's shirt.

He wasn't sure what he expected. He supposed that he expected him to be all skin and bones, but in reality, he was not. Oikawa still had muscles clenching with the exertion of straddling Iwaizumi, and the latter reminded himself that the brunet used to be an athlete. Still, his abdomen was soft, not as hard as it should have been, and Iwaizumi could feel his defined hipbones through his skin.

"That feels good," Oikawa whispered against his lips, eyes closed in ecstasy, and Iwaizumi rubbed a few more circles on the bony prominences before continuing upwards.

He felt his ribs immediately, as soon as he reached the bottom of his ribcage, and for a second, even paused to collect himself. Oikawa noticed.

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked, kissing him softly.

"N-No," Iwaizumi shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Mmkay..."

They continued as if nothing had happened. But Iwaizumi could not pretend that he found it normal for Tooru's ribs to be so defined. He was twenty years old and a former athlete; there should have been some muscle there. However, there was only a thin layer of muscle on his pectorals, and some fat cushioning his floating ribs, and even without seeing it, Iwaizumi knew that it was not normal.

Oikawa was practically skin and bones.

"I'm gonna take this off, wait," Oikawa suggested, realizing that Iwaizumi was having trouble reaching further up his shirt, and before Iwaizumi could stop him, he'd already grabbed the back of his shirt. The least Iwaizumi could do was to help him take it off, and hold his breath.

The spectacle that unravelled in front of his eyes as the clothing was removed was nothing short of breathtaking.

Because Tooru was beautiful, but Tooru was also sick.

Reverently, Iwaizumi returned to touching him, sliding his fingers against now-visible ribs and defined dips of his collarbones. He let his palms push against Oikawa's abdominals, just to see how much they'd contract, and mourned how soft his obliques were. He then slid his arms up his back, pressing softly on his spine to feel the bones, and settled his fingers in the crook of his shoulder blades to pull him closer, closer against him to protect this frail, beautiful human being from anyone who wanted to hurt him, including himself.

Oikawa had not hit rock bottom yet, but it was so, so painfully obvious that he was on a straight line path towards it.

"Why?" he finally asked, his heart aching at the thought of asking this now, of all times. Oikawa, too, seemed confused, and frowned at him as they broke away.

"What do you mean, Iwa-chan?" he asked in a whisper, almost as if afraid.

"You..." Iwaizumi swallowed thickly, cupping Oikawa's thin face lovingly. "Why are you so skinny...?"

"I..." Oikawa's heart seemed to stop for a second, and then restart at a hundred miles a minute. "Iwa-chan, I don't..."

"You're so skinny," Iwaizumi repeated, feeling his own heart ache at the thought of gorgeous, precious Tooru hurting himself like this. "I feel like if I love you with all I've got, I'm going to snap you in half."

"T-That's a bit excessive, don't you think?" Oikawa chuckled awkwardly. "I-I did lose a few pounds-"

"Not just a few. Oikawa, it has been at least two months and you're already like this," Iwaizumi cut him off gently, rubbing circles on his cheekbones. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa was beginning to get agitated.

"Exactly." Iwaizumi shook his head, pressing a soft, desperate kiss to his lips. "Why aren't you eating anything? And why aren't you trying to change...?"

That seemed to be the final draw for Oikawa, who was already feeling antsy. His heart jumped violently in his chest, and suddenly, all he could see was red.

"What does it matter to you, Iwa-chan?" he narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend? Friend? Stranger? Homeless guy he'd taken pity on? Oikawa didn't know what to think of Iwaizumi at this point.

"It matters because I care about you," Iwaizumi insisted firmly. "It matters because you saved my life and I don't want you to hurt yourself like this anymore."

"I'm not hurting myself!" Oikawa seethed, finally breaking away from Iwaizumi's hold. "Leave me alone!"

"No! Not if you're going to kill yourself slowly like this!" Iwaizumi returned, trying to touch him again, but gasping when Oikawa slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" he cried out, moving off of Iwaizumi and grabbing his shirt. "I-If I'm so repulsive, then you shouldn't even come near me!"

"That's not what I said!"

"You mean it. Why else would you say that?" Tears were building up in Oikawa's eyes, and Iwaizumi panicked slightly. He hadn't meant to make Oikawa cry. "I'm ugly, that's what you're saying. Even after all this, I'm still not good enough."

"Absolutely not!" Iwaizumi halted the stream of self-deprecating comments immediately, clenching his fists. "You are gorgeous. You are beautiful in more ways you can imagine, inside and out, and to me, you are all I could ever ask for. And that's why I want you to stop this!"

"Stop lying to me!" Oikawa screeched, the tears finally flowing over. "Stop it, Iwaizumi! This isn't funny anymore!"

"It was never funny in the first place. Look at yourself, Tooru! You are so thin you could probably break a bone by hitting yourself against a table!"

"I don't even get what you're trying to say to me right now!"

"I just want you to eat more!" Iwaizumi hammered home. "Or get help. Or talk about it. Go to a doctor. Get a psychology consult. Anything. Anything, Oikawa. Anything but seeing you suffer anymore. That's the last thing I want for you."

Oikawa cried a little bit, sobbing softly as if afraid, and Iwaizumi took the opportunity of their silence to wrap a blanket around his shoulders. To his relief, Oikawa grabbed the blanket and put it tighter around him, but then he was back to glaring at Iwaizumi.

"You have no right to say that," he spat out, absolutely livid. "You have no right to tell me what to do and to get help, not when you're in a load of shit yourself!"

"I know." Iwaizumi's throat went dry. "I know, but-"

"Tomorrow, after tomorrow, next week... I have the time I need to get my shit together..." Oikawa's face tightened into an ugly grimace of simultaneous anguish and anger. "But you. You're leaving here tomorrow morning and you've got nowhere else to go! You don't have a stable job, you don't have a house, you don't have a family, you barely have enough money to get by every single day! So don't you dare tell me I'm the one who needs to change, because for all I know, and for all I care, you could be dead in an alley somewhere tomorrow evening!"

"You don't mean that," Iwaizumi gasped out in a tone that was much more vulnerable than he wanted it to be. "Oikawa, I... I know all this, and I... I'm thinking about it-"

"Then let me think about it, too! God, Iwaizumi, why can't you just mind your own fucking business!?" Oikawa yelled at him, lapsing in a fresh round of sobs.

"Cause you're a fucking idiot if you think you'll get any better by letting this roll over and pass!" Iwaizumi replied just as loudly, now feeling anger well up inside of him as well. "You're fucking anorexic, Oikawa!"

"Don't say it! Don't say it, asshole! You have no right to tell me what I am!"

"Why won't you even accept that you have a problem!?" Iwaizumi scoffed a bit incredulously. "Hanamaki and Matsukawa know it. I know it. Ayame seems to know about it. We're all tiptoeing around you, Tooru, because you're the only one who seems to be ignoring it!"

"Leave me alone!"

"No!" Iwaizumi's voice caught in his throat, and seeing Oikawa so distressed made tears of his own well up in his eyes. "No... I'm not gonna leave you alone. You've been left alone for too long, and you've hurt yourself too much. I fucking love you, Tooru. You are the most perfect human being I have ever had the privilege to meet, and fuck if anyone has anything to say against the fact that I will not abandon you like this!"

"Worry about your own damn issues first!" Oikawa retorted roughly. "Maybe if you go lose a finger or two to frostbite, you'll finally understand that it doesn't fucking matter what you do with me if you don't figure out what the fuck you're doing with yourself!"

"I'm gonna figure it out, for fuck's sake!" Iwaizumi groaned, frustrated, and clenched his fists. "Just like you need to figure your shit out. When I look at you, I see someone who is beautiful-"

"Stop that, Iwaizumi! I hate that you're trying to make me feel better with empty compliments!"

"They're not empty! Just shut up for a second and listen!" Iwaizumi insisted. "When I look at you, I see someone who's beautiful, and strong, and kind. Someone who saved my life, and whom I love with all of my heart! And I want you to see that! The next time you look in the mirror, I want you to see the person that I love! And I want you to love that person, too!"

"Shut the fuck up with your clichés. That's just empty talk," Oikawa sobbed out, the anger seemingly filtering out of his system, and leaving nothing but sadness, and maybe some resentment.

"Everything can be changed," Iwaizumi kept pushing on, a bit desperate to make him understand. "This routine of yours, too. It can be changed, and it has to be changed! And I'm gonna help you do that, because there is no way I can let you hurt yourself like this anymore."

Oikawa seemed to think about it, and Iwaizumi let him. He jerkily wiped the tears in his eyes, leaving a burning feeling where they used to pool, and tried to gather his voice for one last argument. One last chance to tell Oikawa that he would not be giving up on him.

"Oikawa-"

"Don't talk about change..." Oikawa sniffled in a low voice, not looking at him. Instead, he got up, taking the blanket with him, and shakily took a few steps towards the door. "Don't talk about changing any part of me when you can't even fucking change yourself first."

And that was the truth, painful and raw and laid out in front of both of them, and it shot Iwaizumi straight through the heart, leaving him speechless.

When Oikawa left, closing the door to his room behind him, Iwaizumi realized that he felt empty, and that he had felt empty all along.

The tears he thought he'd wiped away returned, this time dripping down his cheeks, and Iwaizumi's face scrunched up in anguish as well as he let out a few sobs.

Oikawa was right. His life was fucked up, and he hadn't even fixed it yet. He couldn't take the added stress of taking care of someone else, and with all of his own worries in mind, he wouldn't be able to give Oikawa the help he deserved. He had nothing to give. Just empty talk. Oikawa was right.

There was no way he could make a difference for Oikawa if he couldn't even turn his own life around first.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa woke up in Aya's bed, not quite remembering how he ended up there at first, and then remembering that he'd had a fallout with Iwaizumi the night before, and that he'd left the room. It was past nine in the morning, judging by the light filtering through the window, and when Oikawa left his sister's room to return to his own, he didn't expect to see Iwaizumi there.

Of course, the young man was not there anymore. Oikawa's bed was made, the cushions and blankets were put away and folded, and the futon was rolled up neatly. Iwaizumi's bag was gone, but most importantly, his scent was gone off the pillows. Oikawa could not feel him anymore.

Somehow, that made him feel even emptier.

There was a small piece of paper on his bed, and he picked it up at first, not intending to read it. Still, his eyes couldn't help but fall upon Iwaizumi's neat writing, and he ended up reading the brief, bittersweet note anyway.

'You are right.

Thank you for your hospitality.

Take care.'

"Sure..." Oikawa huffed to himself, and crumpled the note. He threw it at the trash can under his desk, but it missed and tumbled off on the ground. Oikawa didn't care enough to pick it up. Instead, he fell on his bed and grabbed his phone, checking his Facebook. Only when a new message came onto his group conversation with Makki and Mattsun did he check that out.

[Matsukawa]: So? How goes the booty-tapping?

[Matsukawa]: Gimme good news man ive got money riding on this answer

[Oikawa]: not happenin

[Hanamaki]: i knew ittttt

[Hanamaki]: what happened? he too pure to do the nasty before marriage?

[Oikawa]: mind ur own business

[Hanamaki]: wow rood

[Matsukawa]: oikawa pls correct me if i'm wrong but

[Matsukawa]: you have an awful lot of typoes and an awful not a lot of emojis

[Matsukawa]: are you ok?

[Hanamaki]: wonderin the same. Did smth happen?

[Matsukawa]: oikawa, come on, answer

[Matsukawa]: if you picked this moment to go take a dump without tellin us its rly poor timing

[Matsukawa]: were super worried

[Matsukawa]: you never type like this

[Hanamaki]: who r u and what have u done with oikawa

[Oikawa]: pls drop it

[Hanamaki]: you did it again

[Hanamaki]: pls elaborate, mattsun is worried af

[Hanamaki]: not to say im not but mattsun just poured over the top of his coffee cup and lord knows mattsun will slay anyone who wastes perfectly good coffee

[Matsukawa]: i sacrificed coffee for you oikawa. Please answer.

[Matsukawa]: In all seriousness. Look at my punctuation. Oikawa, did something bad happen?

[Oikawa]: i hate it when u guys do the serious-typing thing

[Hanamaki]: Okay, but did something bad happen?

[Hanamaki]: Oikawa, are you safe?

[Oikawa]: yes mom im safe

[Matsukawa]: Do you want us to come over?

[Oikawa]: nah my moms home. i'll come over to ur place

[Hanamaki]: u ok to get here?

[Oikawa]: oh my god makki im not actively suicidal just yet. Yes, im ok, stop worrying. i'll be there in an hour.

[Matsukawa]: we have every right to be worried

[Matsukawa]: you dont know your own limits so someones gotta remind you of them

[Matsukawa]: we'll wait for you

[Hanamaki]: ^mad gay, mattsun

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Hanamaki and Matsukawa, for the total idiots they were 90 percent of the time, were actually really terrific friends when it came to supporting Oikawa through his emotional shit. When Oikawa told them about his confrontation with Iwaizumi, they didn't even bat an eyelash. Matsukawa even kept sipping at his coffee as if nothing had happened (though the world could catch on fire and Matsukawa would still be sipping his coffee...), and Oikawa wasn't sure if he loved them or hated them.

Especially since the only thing they said at the end of his entire story was that they, too, want him to change, and that they, too, were available once he decided he wanted to change.

Oikawa spent a lot of time thinking about it. He spent his entire day on Sunday thinking of what he actually wanted to do. If he actually wanted to change his life or not. If he truly took Iwaizumi's harsh, but true words to heart, and if he would take Hanamaki and Matsukawa up on their offer to help him. Sometimes, he did look in the mirror and realize that he had become someone else, but somehow, seeing that someone else staring back at him was addictive.

He figured that he'd apologize to Iwaizumi on Monday, and if all went well, he'd call the anonymous hotline for eating disorder help for tips on how to begin. Just for knowledge purposes. He wasn't sure if he was ready to change his entire lifestyle just yet, but having an idea of what awaited him would probably make him less anxious about the change.

He went to bed on Sunday with a heavy feeling in his heart, knowing that he had a lot to talk about with Iwaizumi the next morning.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Iwaizumi was not in his spot in the corridor on Monday.

Oikawa brushed it off as him still being upset, and threw away the sandwich he'd brought along.

He wasn't there on Tuesday, either. Oikawa threw away the sandwich, and banished the doubt creeping into his bowels.

Wednesday landed him an empty corridor again. At this point, Oikawa was beginning to regret his harsh words, and was beginning to wonder if he'd gone too far. He threw the sandwich away, and promised himself to apologize thoroughly when he saw Iwaizumi next.

Iwaizumi was not in the corridor on Thursday, either. At that point, Oikawa began to panic. He texted his friends, who told him that last time he disappeared for a week, and he was fine. Oikawa convinced himself that he'd give him a week again.

He wasn't surprised not to find him again on Friday, and he sadly threw away the sandwich he'd hopefully prepared for him.

The weekend was long, but with finals coming up, Oikawa was busy studying. Thankfully, he spent the two days at Makki's and Mattsun's shared flat, which meant that the constant company made the time pass by a bit quicker.

On Monday, Iwaizumi had not reappeared in the corridor. Something broke at that point in Oikawa's heart, and he forgot to throw away the sandwich he was clutching tightly in his hands.

By the time he got to college, he realized that he was still holding the food in his hands, and sighed wistfully, not knowing what to do with it.

There was nothing left to do at this point.

He opened the Ziploc, pulled out the sandwich, and painstakingly began to eat it.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

The days passed and Oikawa began to lose hope of seeing Iwaizumi ever again. The temperatures dropped to previously unseen degrees, and the fear of Iwaizumi freezing to death became a very valid one. Morbidly enough, Oikawa found himself reading the obituary in the newspaper every day in the subway, hoping simultaneously to find Iwaizumi's name there, and not to find it, ever. He just wanted answers. He just wished he hadn't disappeared into thin air like that.

Especially not because of something Oikawa said.

Once he'd calmed down and told his friends that he was willing to try and take baby steps towards change, he realized that he had been overly harsh with Iwaizumi, and just wanted to apologize to him again. However, he never did see him again in that large, neon-lit corridor again.

Oikawa wondered where Iwaizumi was now. If he was crying himself to sleep every night, or if he was a part of a street gang. If he'd turned to robbery to survive, or if he was still begging for change in every moment of his time. If he had returned home and made peace with his family, or if he had made plans never to see them again. He wondered if he'd been stabbed, or overdosed, or froze, or starved. As the weeks flew by, every possibility became more and more plausible.

Finals came and went, and Iwaizumi did not return. Christmas came and passed, and Iwaizumi did not gift him with his return. The new year rolled in, and Iwaizumi did not return with it. Winter vacation ended, and Oikawa began his final term in college alongside Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and yet, Iwaizumi did not return.

Oikawa gave up on him at some point when he realized that he would not be seeing him again. And though he never mentioned it, he, Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Ayame, and his mother always understood how much the loss of Iwaizumi Hajime had broken him inside.

...-...-...-...-...-...-...

Oikawa liked his routine, and did not like things that interrupted his routine. He liked to know exactly what was waiting for him every day, what he was expected to do, and what he would do. He did not like it when tiny details threw him off into unfamiliar territory, and he did not appreciate when larger details came and changed his entire routine into something new.

As per his routine, he took the bus on the corner of his street to the subway station, and went down into the depths, his music loud in his ears as he walked on. He turned into the wide corridor of white tiles, lit up by neon signs, and faced forward as he walked. It had been two months since he'd stopped looking at the spot by the wall where he used to hope to see a curled up figure with a cardboard sign and a coffee cup by his feet.

It had been two months since he lost Iwaizumi Hajime.

It had taken two months for Iwaizumi Hajime to return to him.

He didn't know why, but there was movement in the corner of his eye, and Oikawa turned to glance at it curiously. And he saw what had caught his eye, what had so inexorably grasped his attention yet again, and he stopped dead in the middle of the hallway. People bumped into him with apologies and disgruntled mutters, but all that Oikawa could focus on was the young man leaning against the wall where he used to kneel every morning so long ago.

Iwaizumi Hajime was there, standing tall, his face buried in a scarf, and wearing the hat that Oikawa had lent to him such a long time ago. He had a winter coat on, and thick-looking boots.

Oikawa did not walk as much as he jogged towards him, both apprehensive and elated to see him again.

Iwaizumi was seemingly scanning the crowd for someone, waiting patiently, and when Oikawa broke away from the throng of people advancing forward, Iwaizumi immediately spotted him. And this time, as Oikawa walked towards him, Iwaizumi did, too, and they met halfway.

"Oh my god," was the first thing that Oikawa said, and suddenly, his breath hitched. "Iwa... Iwaizumi...?"

"Yeah. Hey," Iwaizumi smiled a bit awkwardly. "Hey, sorry. I just... I wanted... I wanted to see you again and..."

"I thought..." Oikawa's breath got caught in his throat. "I thought you were... You disappeared after what I said and..."

"I know." Iwaizumi nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who's sorry!"

"No, no, don't apologize," Iwaizumi quickly rectified. "I needed that. You... you said a lot of things, and I realized that you were right. I realized that I... I needed some time, too."

"I was so scared when you didn't come back on Monday," Oikawa rasped out. "I was scared that you were mad, or hurt, and I was scared that something had happened to you. And then you never returned, and it got so cold outside, and so much time passed..."

"I'm sorry I scared you," Iwaizumi patted his shoulder briefly and made to pull away, but Oikawa's hand on top of his stopped him. Instead, his hand slid down to caress his forearm soothingly, and his other arm did the same, if only to ground both of them to one another.

"Where were you?" Oikawa finally asked the dreaded question.

"I left to go change," Iwaizumi snorted at his pitiful attempt at a quip. "I... There were a lot of things I wanted to take control of before I faced you again, so I went to do all of that. I didn't quite achieve everything yet, but... I'm changing, slowly but surely."

"Iwa-chan...?"

"I..." Iwaizumi took a deep breath. "I went back to my house. Talked to my father. I ran away in the first place because he had been abusive since my thirteenth birthday, and since my mom passed away, and I was done dealing with him. I told him I'd be leaving for good, and that I didn't want to see him ever again." His breath caught in his throat.

"Iwa-chan..." Oikawa felt the tears rising in his eyes at Iwaizumi's display of raw strength and emotion. "Iwaizumi, that's... that's really amazing..."

"I found my older brother and contacted him," he choked out, rubbing his eyes as if to prevent the tears from even coming up. "I... I asked him if I could room with him until I got back on my feet. I take the sofa in the living room and pay the rent with him for now."

He swallowed heavily, and it was Oikawa's turn to take his hands, holding them encouragingly.

"I have a part-time job," he continued, his voice shaking. "It's not much, twenty hours a week, but I can sometimes bring free leftovers home, so I'm gonna keep it. It pays the rent, and a few little extras on the long run." Like his jacket and his boots, it seemed.

"That's really incredible. You really pulled yourself together. You did it," Oikawa breathed out, letting the tears finally run down his cheeks. "You're really, really incredible, Hajime."

"I'm gonna keep moving forward," Iwaizumi's breath hitched, and his lips wobbled to announce the arrival of the first tears. "I'm gonna look for a second job to get me through the spring. In summer, I'm going to try to take refresher courses, and in fall, I-I..." he took a deep breath. "I'm going to apply to university to work towards getting a social work degree."

"Hajime," Oikawa sniffled, finally drawing him close into a hug, and absolutely loving how he immediately found solace within his embrace. People stared at them funny, but Oikawa did not care.

"And I want to help you change, too, now that I've changed a bit as well," Iwaizumi kept going, his voice steadying more and more. "I want to be there for you, like I promised, until you, too, can see the man that I love when you look in the mirror."

"You're still going on about that?" Oikawa laughed tearfully, gripping Iwaizumi tighter.

"Always. As long as you're mine," Iwaizumi assured him, and held him a bit longer before they pulled away. "So... I guess this time I'll ask... Are you ready to change, Tooru?"

Oikawa did not have to think twice about it this time. He dried his tears, and faced Iwaizumi confidently.

"Yes. I'm ready."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Makki and Mattsun have been helping me a little bit, but we don't really have a plan," Oikawa admitted.

"Are you gonna make one?"

"Definitely," Oikawa nodded, and smiled up at him. "You changed for yourself, and for me. Now it's my turn to change for both of our sakes."

"Then good," Iwaizumi nodded, and hesitantly put his hands on Oikawa's cheeks. Even through his gloves, he could tell that they were a bit softer. The thought sent his heart racing. "Come here."

"Absolutely," Oikawa whispered, and leaned forward to kiss him.

He'd really missed it. He'd really missed them. They'd parted on terrible terms last time, and this wasn't kiss and make up, but it was something that began to board up the hole left in Oikawa's heart, and he was grateful not to feel empty anymore.

"You taste... sweet," Oikawa commented when he pulled away with the taste of Iwaizumi and sugar on his lips.

"Yeah," Iwaizumi laughed, swinging around his backpack and unzipping it to look for something. "I had breakfast not long ago. And here." He pulled something out, handing it to Oikawa, and Oikawa's eyes widened before filling with tears again. "This is yours."

Oikawa laughed, letting the last few tears roll off his cheeks before accepting the sandwich packed tightly in a Ziploc bag,

"You made me breakfast, Iwa-chan?" he teased softly, looking down at the sandwich.

"Yep," Iwaizumi grinned brightly, as if proud of himself. "It's peanut butter and jelly."

Oikawa laughed once again, and when they began to move on from their usual spot against the wall, towards the subway platform, he opened the Ziploc bag, pulled the sandwich out, and took a big bite out of it.

* * *

 **there's a lot to be said about this fic but nothing's gonna be said ahahahaha bye**


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